A lady goes to her parish priest one day and tells him, “Father, I have a problem. I have two female parrots but they only know how to say one thing. “ “What do they say?” the priest inquired. “They say, ‘Hi, we’re prostitutes. Do you want to have some fun?’“the woman said embarrassingly. “That’s … Read more
An elderly couple was just settling down for bed when the old man realized he left the lights on in the greenhouse in the backyard. Then they heard voices. Three men had broken into the greenhouse. Scared, the couple called the police. The dispatcher replied, he would send an officer as soon as one became … Read more
The minister gave his Sunday morning service, as usual, but this particular Sunday, it was considerably longer than normal. Later, at the door, shaking hands with parishioners as they moved out, one man said, “Your sermon, Pastor, was simply wonderful – so invigorating and inspiring and refreshing. “ The minister, of course, broke out in … Read more
Three buildings in town were overrun by squirrels—the town hall, the hardware store, and the church. The town hall brought in some cats. But after they tore up all the files, the mayor got rid of the predators, and soon the squirrels were back. The hardware store humanely trapped the squirrels and set them free … Read more
During a sermon one Sunday, the pastor heard two teenage girls in the back giggling and disturbing people. He interrupted his sermon and announced sternly, “There are two of you here who have not heard a word I’ve said. “ That quieted them down. When the service was over, he went to greet people at … Read more
A pastor asked his Bible class, “Why was Jesus born in Bethlehem?” A student replied, “Because his mother was there. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
The temporary Sunday School teacher was struggling to open a combination lock on the supply cabinet. She had been told the combination, but couldn’t quite remember it. Finally she went to the pastor’s study and asked for help. The pastor came into the room and began to turn the dial. After the first two numbers … Read more
Olivia, the church gossip, and self-appointed monitor of the church’s morals, kept sticking her nose into other people’s business. Several members did not approve of her extra curricular activities, but feared her enough to maintain their silence. She made a mistake, however, when she accused George, a new member, of being an alcoholic after she … Read more
Two girlfriends were speeding down the highway at well over 90 mph. “Hey, “asked the brunette at the wheel “Any cops following us?” The blonde turned around and had a long look at the road behind them. “Yeah, looks like it” Are his flashers on?” The blonde turned around again… … “Yup…Nope…Yup…Nope…Yup…Nope…Yup…. “ This joke … Read more
A new pastor was visiting the homes of his parishioners. At one house it seemed obvious that someone was at home, but no answer came to his repeated knocks at the door. Therefore, he took out a business card and wrote ‘Revelation 3:20’ on the back of it and stuck it in the door. When … Read more