A man who hadn’t attended church in years suddenly began attending faithfully on Sunday mornings instead of going fishing as was his normal habit. The pastor was highly gratified and at the end of service one morning told him, “How wonderful it makes me feel to see you at services with your good wife!” “Well, … Read more
A mother wanted to teach her daughter a moral lesson. She gave the girl a quarter and a dollar for church. “Put whichever one you want in the collection plate and keep the other for yourself, “she told the girl. Sunday, when they were coming out of the church, the mother asked her daughter which … Read more
A priest and a pastor are standing by the side of a road holding up a sign that reads “The end is near! Turn around now before it’s too late!” A passing driver yells, “You guys are nuts!” and speeds past them. From around the curve, they hear screeching tires, then a big splash. The … Read more
A man walks into work with two black eyes. His boss asks what happened. The man says, “I was sitting behind a big woman at church. When we stood up to sing hymns, I noticed that her dress was caught in her crack, so I pulled it out. She turned around and punched me square … Read more
One Sunday a pastor found several letters awaiting him. He opened one and found it contained the single word, “Fool. “ Quietly and with becoming seriousness he shared the letter with the congregation and announced, “I have known many instances of a person writing a letter and forgetting to sign his name, but this is … Read more
An old-time pastor was riding furiously down the road, hurrying to get to church on time. Suddenly, his horse stumbled and threw him to the ground. Lying in the dirt, his body wracked with pain, the pastor called out, “All you angels in heaven, help me get up on my horse!” With extraordinary strength, he … Read more
A wife went to the police station with her next door neighbor to report that her husband was missing. The policeman asked for a description. She said, “He’s 35 years old, 6 foot 4, has dark eyes, dark wavy hair, an athletic build, weighs 185 pounds, is soft-spoken, and is good to the children. “ … Read more
Two men broke into a drugstore and stole all the Viagra. The police put out an alert to be on the lookout for the two hardened criminals. This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
A police officer sees a man driving around with a pickup truck full of penguins. He pulls the guy over and says, “You can’t drive around with penguins in this town! Take them to the zoo immediately. “ The guy says okay, and drives away. The next day, the officer sees the guy still driving … Read more
A juggler, driving to his next performance, is stopped by the police. “What are those machetes doing in your car?” asks the cop. “I juggle them in my act. “ “Oh, yeah?” says the doubtful cop. “Let’s see you do it. “ The juggler gets out and starts tossing and catching the knives. Another man … Read more