A nun woke up one morning feeling great, she got out of bed and decided to go to the kitchen for some breakfast. On her way over there she runs into sister Jane and she says, “Hi sister Jane, “by which sister Jane says, “I see you got off on the wrong side of the … Read more
A man takes examinations for the driver’s license for the fourth year in a row. The examiner asks him “So, you’re running on the street. You have a mountain on your right and there’s a cliff on your left. There are two women in your way; one young and the other an old woman. Which … Read more
A man who smelled like a distillery flopped on a subway seat next to a priest. The man’s tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half-empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began reading. After a few minutes the disheveled … Read more
Jessica never went to church. She always promised to go but never did. The pastor was astounded when she suddenly showed up for Sunday service. Thereafter she was there for every Sunday service. Three months later, after a Sunday service, the pastor asked her, “What happened to you? You always dodged church and now it … Read more
A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads, “Low Bridge Ahead. “ Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his … Read more
A policeman flags down a driver. After pulling him over, the policeman approached the driver’s door. “Is there a problem, Officer?” The policeman says, “Sir, you were speeding. Can I see your license please?” The driver responds, “I’d give it to you but I don’t have one. “ “You don’t have one?” The man responds, … Read more
One night a police woman pulls over a drunk driver. She politely asks him to step out of his car. He willingly does so. She says, “Anything you say can and will be held against you. “ He replies “Tits. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it … Read more
Two rednecks, Bubba and Earl, were driving down the road drinking a couple of bottles of Bud. The passenger, Bubba, said “Lookey thar up ahead, Earl, it’s a police roadblock! ! We’re gonna get busted fer drinkin’ these here beers! !” “Don’t worry, Bubba, “Earl said. “We’ll just pull over and finish drinkin’ these beers … Read more
Two policemen are walking the beat when one says, ‘When I get home, I’m going straight upstairs and tearing off the wife’s underwear.’ “Feeling randy?” asks the other. “‘No, “says the first. ‘The elastic is killing me.’ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Mary Clancy goes up to Father O’Grady after his Sunday morning service, and she’s in tears. He says, “So what’s bothering you, dear?” She says, “Oh, Father, I’ve got terrible news. My husband passed away last night. “ The priest says, “Oh, Mary, that’s terrible! Tell me, Mary, did he have any last requests?” She … Read more