A small boy turned to his aunt Michelle and said, “Wow, you’re not pretty!” His mother overheard the remark and was appalled. She took him aside and gave him a real telling-off before ordering him to go back out to say sorry to Aunt Michelle. Suitably chastened, the boy went over and said quietly, “Aunt … Read more
A man hired a lawyer when he got sued by his company for the embezzlement of many millions. At the beginning of the process, the lawyer kindly reassured him, “Don’t worry, you’ll never go to jail with that amount of money. “ And the lawyer was right. When the man did go to jail eventually, … Read more
Little Johnny: “That knife-throwing act was terrible. I want my money back. “ Carnival Owner:” What was the matter with it?” Little Johnny: “Call that a knife thrower? He got ten chances and he didn’t even hit that girl once!” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from … Read more
A man went to his lawyer and asked him, “My neighbor owes me $500 and he won’t pay up. What should I do?” “Do you have any proof he owes you the money?” asked the lawyer. “Nope, “replied the man. “Okay, then write him a letter asking him for the $5,000 he owes you, “said … Read more
Dear Santa, For this year I’m requesting a BIG bank account and a SMALL body. P. S. Please don’t mix them up like you did last year. This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
An Airbus is on its way across the Atlantic. It flies consistently at 900 km/h at 30,000 feet, when suddenly an Eurofighter with a Tempo Mach 2 appears. The pilot of the fighter jet slows down, flies alongside the Airbus and greets the pilot of the passenger plane by radio: “Airbus, boring flight isn’t it? … Read more
A father came home from a long business trip to find his son riding a very fancy new 10 speed bike. ”Where did you get the money for the bike? It must have cost $300. ” ”Easy, Dad,” the boy replied. ”I earned it hiking. ” ”Come on,” the father said, ”tell me the truth?” … Read more
The judge asked the defendant to please stand. “You are charged with cutting down a tree without having permission to do so, using a chainsaw. “ From out in the gallery, a woman shouts, “Lying miser!” “Silence in the court!” the Judge says. He turns to the defendant and says, “You are also charged with … Read more
Two men were in a forest, when a lion came roaring towards them. One of them throws sand into the lion’s eyes and then runs. The second man stays, unmoved. The first man looks back and shouts, “Why are you not running?” The second man replies, “Why should I be running? You’re the one who … Read more
The drunk defendant appears yet again before the tired judge. They both look at each other. The judge speaks first, “You have been constantly appearing before me for the past twenty years. “ The defendant interrupts the judge, “Can I help you if you can’t get promoted?” This joke is included in the Black Book … Read more