Humor , distilled.
Discover jokes , memes and funny quotes to brighten your day.
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Latest Jokes
Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh
Ahead I’ll Hold
April 5, 2026
A woman gets onto a bus with her baby. The bus driver says, “That’s the ugliest baby that I’ve ever seen. Ugh!” The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, “The driver just insulted me!” The man says, “You go right up
Rottweiler Jesus
April 5, 2026
A man was robbing a house in the middle of the night. All of a sudden, he heard a parrot cry out. “Jesus is gonna get you. “ The robber ignored it, and took the TV. Again, the parrot cries out. “Jesus is gonna get you. “ The robber started to get a little worried.
Bus Stares
April 5, 2026
A punk rocker gets on the bus with green, yellow, purple and orange hair. An old guy sitting on the bus stares at him, and the punk says, “What’s the matter, old man, didn’t you ever do anything wild in your life?” And the old man says, “Yeah, one time I fucked a parrot. I
The Veterinarian – Brings Cat
April 5, 2026
A man brings his cat to a veterinarian. He lives with the cat there and returns in two days, as pre agreed. He asks the veterinarian:”Is my cat still alive?” “Still not…” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Huge Mean Bear
April 5, 2026
In the middle of a forest, there was a hunter who was suddenly confronted by a huge, mean bear. In his fear, all attempts to shoot the bear were unsuccessful. Finally, he turned and ran as fast as he could. The hunter ran and ran and ran, until he ended up at the edge of
Sexy Body
April 5, 2026
A wife asked her husband: “What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?” He looked at her from head to toe and replied: “I like your sense of humor. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Treding Jokes
The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.
Giorgio Rushes
April 5, 2026
Giorgo and his beautiful girl-friend Isabella rush in to see the vicar: “We want to get married. Here are all our papers, and these two people are our witnesses. Can you do a quick service?” The vicar is amused. He marries the two young people, pockets his fee and asks: “Isn’t there a proverb, something
Bites Yes
April 5, 2026
“Don’t be afraid of the dog, “said the lady to Little Johnny, who was delivering her groceries. “You know the old proverb, ‘A barking dog never bites?’“ “Yes, “replied Little Johnny. “You know the proverb. I know the proverb. But does your dog know the proverb?” This joke is included in the Black Book of
Trained Parrot
April 5, 2026
There was a little old lady who was nearly blind. She had three sons and they wanted to prove which one was the best son to her. So the first son bought her a 15-room mansion thinking this would surely be the best any of them could offer her. The second son bought her a