Humor , distilled.
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Latest Jokes
Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh
Messy Apartment Dirty
April 5, 2026
Two men are discussing their love lives. One says, “I’m getting married. I’m sick of a messy apartment, dirty dishes, and no clothes to wear. “ The other one says, “Hey, I’m getting divorced for the same reasons. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Cried Heaven
April 5, 2026
A woman was worried whether or not her dead husband made it to heaven, so she decided to try to contact his spirit by having a seance. Sure enough, after the usual mumbo-jumbo of calling to the spirits, her husband’s voice was heard answering, “Hello Margaret, this is meeee… “ “Fred, “she answered. I just
Shots Please
April 5, 2026
A man goes into a pub, takes a seat at the bar, and orders five shots. The bartender gives him an odd look since he’s all by himself, but he serves up the five shots and lines them up on the bar. The man downs them all quickly. He finishes the last one and calls
Glass Eye – Dining Fancy
April 5, 2026
A man is dining in a fancy restaurant and there is a gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table. He has been checking her out since he sat down, but lacks the nerve to talk with her. Suddenly, she sneezes and her glass eye comes flying out of its socket towards the man. He reflexively
Immense Effort Robin
April 5, 2026
All the merry men and Maid Marion, gathered around Robin Hood’s deathbed, waiting for the inevitable end. Manfully, heroically, Robin struggled up and said “Friar Tuck, bring me my longbow. I will fire an arrow out the window and wherever it lands, that is where you will bury me. “ Deeply moved, they placed a
Beaten Half
April 5, 2026
One day a man found an odd-looking lamp and rubbed it. From inside came a genie that told him he would get three wishes, but whatever he wishes for, his mother-in-law gets double of what he gets. “What would you like for your first wish?” asked the genie. “I want one billion dollars, “replies the
Treding Jokes
The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.
Giorgio Rushes
April 5, 2026
Giorgo and his beautiful girl-friend Isabella rush in to see the vicar: “We want to get married. Here are all our papers, and these two people are our witnesses. Can you do a quick service?” The vicar is amused. He marries the two young people, pockets his fee and asks: “Isn’t there a proverb, something
Bites Yes
April 5, 2026
“Don’t be afraid of the dog, “said the lady to Little Johnny, who was delivering her groceries. “You know the old proverb, ‘A barking dog never bites?’“ “Yes, “replied Little Johnny. “You know the proverb. I know the proverb. But does your dog know the proverb?” This joke is included in the Black Book of
Trained Parrot
April 5, 2026
There was a little old lady who was nearly blind. She had three sons and they wanted to prove which one was the best son to her. So the first son bought her a 15-room mansion thinking this would surely be the best any of them could offer her. The second son bought her a