Humor , distilled.
Discover jokes , memes and funny quotes to brighten your day.
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Latest Jokes
Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh
Brian O’malley
April 5, 2026
Old man O’Malley had worked down at the brewery for years, but one day he just wasn’t paying attention and he tripped on the walkway and fell over into the beer vat and drowned. The foreman thought it should be his job to inform the widow O’Malley of her old man’s death. He showed up
All-You-Can-Eat Restaurant Josh
April 5, 2026
At an all-you-can-eat restaurant Josh came back to the table, his plate full for the sixth time. “Josh!” exclaimed his mother. “Doesn’t it embarrass you that people have seen you go up to the buffet table six times?” “Not a bit, “said Josh, “I just tell them I’m filling up the plate for you!” This
How Do You Spell Paint? – Director Hears
April 5, 2026
A director’s wife hears that her husband has a new secretary. The director comes home and the wife starts putting questions: “Does this new secretary of yours have nice legs?” “I don’t know. “ “What color do her eyes have?” “I didn’t notice… “ “But about dressing, how does she dress?” “Very fast… “ This
Accountant We’re
April 5, 2026
A businessman tells his friend that his company is looking for a new accountant. His friend asks, “Didn’t your company hire a new accountant a few weeks ago?” The businessman replies, “That’s the accountant we’re looking for. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Toy Horses Inserted
April 5, 2026
Breaking news: A man was admitted to the hospital today with 23 plastic toy horses inserted in his rectum. Doctors have described his condition as stable. This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Can’t Help
April 5, 2026
In a long line of people waiting for a bank teller, one guy suddenly started massaging the back of the person in front of him. Surprised, the man in front turned and snarled, “Just what the hell are you doing?!” “Well, “said the guy, “you see, I’m a chiropractor and I could see that you
Treding Jokes
The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.
Giorgio Rushes
April 5, 2026
Giorgo and his beautiful girl-friend Isabella rush in to see the vicar: “We want to get married. Here are all our papers, and these two people are our witnesses. Can you do a quick service?” The vicar is amused. He marries the two young people, pockets his fee and asks: “Isn’t there a proverb, something
Bites Yes
April 5, 2026
“Don’t be afraid of the dog, “said the lady to Little Johnny, who was delivering her groceries. “You know the old proverb, ‘A barking dog never bites?’“ “Yes, “replied Little Johnny. “You know the proverb. I know the proverb. But does your dog know the proverb?” This joke is included in the Black Book of
Trained Parrot
April 5, 2026
There was a little old lady who was nearly blind. She had three sons and they wanted to prove which one was the best son to her. So the first son bought her a 15-room mansion thinking this would surely be the best any of them could offer her. The second son bought her a