Humor , distilled.

Discover jokes , memes and funny quotes to brighten your day.

Latest Jokes

Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh

Air Force Base

Air Force Base

April 5, 2026

The chief of staff of the Air Force decided that he would personally intervene in the recruiting crisis affecting all of our armed services. He directed a nearby Air Force base that will be opened and that all eligible young men and women be invited. As he and his staff were standing near a brand

Those Damn Mice

Those Damn Mice

April 5, 2026

This guy was having a problem with mice in his apartment. “Dude, “he told a friend, “I’ve tried everything and those damn mice keep coming back. “ “I had the same thing man, “his friend says. “All you have to do is stuff steel wool in their little holes. “ “That’s it?” the guy asked.

Bolted Upright Pointed

Bolted Upright Pointed

April 5, 2026

The English teacher’s husband walked in and caught his wife sleeping with a young co-ed. He said, “Why, Susan, I’m surprised. “ She bolted upright, pointed her finger and corrected him, “No. I am surprised. You are astonished. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.

Ordered Martini

Ordered Martini

April 5, 2026

A man walked into a bar and ordered martini after martini, each time removing the olives and placing them in a jar. When the jar was filled with olives and all the drinks consumed, the guy started to leave. “Excuse me”, said a customer, who was puzzled over what the guy had done. “What was

Which Screw

Which Screw

April 5, 2026

A manufacturing plant was in full swing one day. The company’s massive machine was humming along, taking in the raw materials at one end and churning out the finished product at the other. All of a sudden, the machine stopped and ground to a halt. Workers climbed all over it like ants to get it

Devil Smiled

Devil Smiled

April 5, 2026

A skilled nurse died and arrived before St. Peter, who explained, “We have this little policy of allowing you to choose whether you want to spend eternity in heaven or in hell. “ “How do I know which to choose?” She asked. “That’s easy, “said St. Peter. “You have to spend a day in each

Treding Jokes

The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.

Giorgio Rushes

Giorgio Rushes

April 5, 2026

Giorgo and his beautiful girl-friend Isabella rush in to see the vicar: “We want to get married. Here are all our papers, and these two people are our witnesses. Can you do a quick service?” The vicar is amused. He marries the two young people, pockets his fee and asks: “Isn’t there a proverb, something

Bites Yes

Bites Yes

April 5, 2026

“Don’t be afraid of the dog, “said the lady to Little Johnny, who was delivering her groceries. “You know the old proverb, ‘A barking dog never bites?’“ “Yes, “replied Little Johnny. “You know the proverb. I know the proverb. But does your dog know the proverb?” This joke is included in the Black Book of

Trained Parrot

Trained Parrot

April 5, 2026

There was a little old lady who was nearly blind. She had three sons and they wanted to prove which one was the best son to her. So the first son bought her a 15-room mansion thinking this would surely be the best any of them could offer her. The second son bought her a

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