Humor , distilled.

Discover jokes , memes and funny quotes to brighten your day.

Latest Jokes

Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh

Different Limbs

Different Limbs

April 5, 2026

An organization is like a tree full of monkeys, all on different limbs at different levels. The monkeys on top look down and see a tree full of smiling faces. The monkeys on the bottom look up and see nothing but assholes. This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order

Owner Pulls

Owner Pulls

April 5, 2026

A business owner decides to take a tour around his business and see how things are going. He goes down to the shipping docks and sees a young man leaning against the wall doing nothing. The owner walks up to the young man and says: “Son, how much do you make a day?” The guy

Next Question Intended

Next Question Intended

April 5, 2026

A lawyer was filling out a job application when he came to the question, “Have you ever been arrested?” He answered, “No. “ The next question, intended for people who had answered in the affirmative to the last one, was “Why?” The lawyer answered it anyway: “Never got caught. “ This joke is included in

Tobacco Dip Sample

Tobacco Dip Sample

April 5, 2026

Three guys begin work at a toothbrush company as salesmen. Each day, two of the guys sell twenty toothbrushes each, and the third guy consistently sells two hundred. The other two guys are jealous, but they can’t figure out his secret. Then, one day, they run into him at the mall, where he’s set up

Fairy Tales Begin

Fairy Tales Begin

April 5, 2026

“Mommy, “Little Johnny asked, “do all fairy tales begin with ‘Once upon a time’?” “No, dear, “she replied. “Sometimes they start with ‘Darling, I’ll be working late at the office tonight… ‘“ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.

English Professor Complained

English Professor Complained

April 5, 2026

An English professor complained to the pet shop proprietor, “The parrot I purchased uses improper language. “ “I’m surprised, “said the owner. “I’ve never taught that bird to swear. “ “Oh, it isn’t that, “explained the professor. “But yesterday I heard him split an infinitive. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of

Treding Jokes

The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.

Giorgio Rushes

Giorgio Rushes

April 5, 2026

Giorgo and his beautiful girl-friend Isabella rush in to see the vicar: “We want to get married. Here are all our papers, and these two people are our witnesses. Can you do a quick service?” The vicar is amused. He marries the two young people, pockets his fee and asks: “Isn’t there a proverb, something

Bites Yes

Bites Yes

April 5, 2026

“Don’t be afraid of the dog, “said the lady to Little Johnny, who was delivering her groceries. “You know the old proverb, ‘A barking dog never bites?’“ “Yes, “replied Little Johnny. “You know the proverb. I know the proverb. But does your dog know the proverb?” This joke is included in the Black Book of

Trained Parrot

Trained Parrot

April 5, 2026

There was a little old lady who was nearly blind. She had three sons and they wanted to prove which one was the best son to her. So the first son bought her a 15-room mansion thinking this would surely be the best any of them could offer her. The second son bought her a

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