Humor , distilled.

Discover jokes , memes and funny quotes to brighten your day.

Latest Jokes

Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh

Nathan Responds Well

Nathan Responds Well

April 5, 2026

On their 25th wedding anniversary and during the banquet celebrating it, Nathan was asked to give his friends a brief account of the benefits of a marriage of such long duration. “Tell us Nathan, just what is it you have learned from all those wonderful years with your wife?” Nathan responds, “Well, I’ve learned that

Doesnt Mean Youll

Doesnt Mean Youll

April 5, 2026

Little Johnny was being questioned by the teacher during an arithmetic lesson. “If you had ten dollars, “said the teacher, “and I asked you for a loan of eight dollars, how much would you have left?” “Ten, “said Little Johnny firmly. “Ten?” the teacher said “How do you make it ten?” “Well, “replied Little Johnny

Desk Sergeant

Desk Sergeant

April 5, 2026

A man went to the police station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before. “You’ll get your chance in court, “said the desk sergeant. “No, no no!” said the man. “I want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I’ve been trying

Can’t Communicate

Can’t Communicate

April 5, 2026

A judge was interviewing a woman regarding her pending divorce, and asked, “What are the grounds for your divorce?” She replied, “About four acres and a nice little home in the middle of the property with a stream running by. “ “No, “he said, “I mean what is the foundation of this case?” “It is

Heat Wave

Heat Wave

April 5, 2026

Jack and his wife lived in a place where the summers are very hot. He woke up one day when they were having a heat wave. As he stepped out of the shower he complained to his wife saying, “It’s just too hot to wear any clothes on a day like this. What would the

Loo Brush

Loo Brush

April 5, 2026

Little Johnny once bought his granny a very fine toilet brush but when he went to visit her a few weeks later, there wasn’t a sign of it in the bathroom. Little Johnny asked his grandma, “Granny, what happened to the loo brush I gave you?” “Darling, I really didn’t like it. After all those

Treding Jokes

The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.

Giorgio Rushes

Giorgio Rushes

April 5, 2026

Giorgo and his beautiful girl-friend Isabella rush in to see the vicar: “We want to get married. Here are all our papers, and these two people are our witnesses. Can you do a quick service?” The vicar is amused. He marries the two young people, pockets his fee and asks: “Isn’t there a proverb, something

Bites Yes

Bites Yes

April 5, 2026

“Don’t be afraid of the dog, “said the lady to Little Johnny, who was delivering her groceries. “You know the old proverb, ‘A barking dog never bites?’“ “Yes, “replied Little Johnny. “You know the proverb. I know the proverb. But does your dog know the proverb?” This joke is included in the Black Book of

Trained Parrot

Trained Parrot

April 5, 2026

There was a little old lady who was nearly blind. She had three sons and they wanted to prove which one was the best son to her. So the first son bought her a 15-room mansion thinking this would surely be the best any of them could offer her. The second son bought her a

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