Humor , distilled.
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Latest Jokes
Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh
Merciful Providence
April 5, 2026
“Yes, ma’am, “the old sailor confided to the inquisitive lady, “I fell over the side of the ship, and a shark he come along and grabbed me by the leg. “ “Merciful providence!” his hearer gasped. “And what did you do?” “Let him have the leg, of course, ma’am, “said the old salt. “I never
Rail Tracks
April 5, 2026
A guy is late to meet with his friends at the local bar the friends obviously ask why he is late and he responds: “Wow, you won’t believe what just happened. So I take the usual route via the rail tracks and suddenly I see a young, naked woman tied up next to the tracks.
Buy Johnny
April 5, 2026
“Little Johnny attended a horse auction with his father. He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horse’s legs and rump, and chest. After a few minutes, Johnny asked, “Dad, why are you doing that?” His father replied, “Because when I’m buying horses, I have to
Fine Doc
April 5, 2026
An old snake goes to see his Doctor. “Doc, I need something for my eyes… can’t see well these days”. The Doc fixes him up with a pair of glasses and tells him to return in 2 weeks. The snake comes back in 2 weeks and tells the doctor he’s very depressed. Doc says, “What’s
Pharmacist Apologizes
April 5, 2026
A man who wants to murder his wife goes into a pharmacy and asks for cyanide. “I’m sorry sir, but I can’t give you cyanide just like that. “ Without a word, the man takes out his wife’s photograph and holds it in front of him. The pharmacist apologizes, “My mistake, I didn’t realize you
Mad Cow Disease – Cows Chatting
April 5, 2026
Two cows were chatting over the fence between their fields. The first cow said, “I tell you, this mad cow disease is really pretty scary. They say it is spreading fast; I heard it hit some cows down on the McDonald’s farm. “ The other cow replied, “Hell, I ain’t worried, it won’t affect us
Treding Jokes
The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.
Giorgio Rushes
April 5, 2026
Giorgo and his beautiful girl-friend Isabella rush in to see the vicar: “We want to get married. Here are all our papers, and these two people are our witnesses. Can you do a quick service?” The vicar is amused. He marries the two young people, pockets his fee and asks: “Isn’t there a proverb, something
Bites Yes
April 5, 2026
“Don’t be afraid of the dog, “said the lady to Little Johnny, who was delivering her groceries. “You know the old proverb, ‘A barking dog never bites?’“ “Yes, “replied Little Johnny. “You know the proverb. I know the proverb. But does your dog know the proverb?” This joke is included in the Black Book of
Trained Parrot
April 5, 2026
There was a little old lady who was nearly blind. She had three sons and they wanted to prove which one was the best son to her. So the first son bought her a 15-room mansion thinking this would surely be the best any of them could offer her. The second son bought her a