Humor , distilled.
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Latest Jokes
Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh
The Second Opinion – Burns Disgusted
April 5, 2026
Dr. Burns was disgusted when Frank staggered into his office thoroughly inebriated. He looked at him severely. “What happened, Frank? I thought we were going to lick this problem by cutting you down to just two drinks a day. “ Frank dragged a finger across his chest. “Cross my heart, doc, I did as you
Play Hockey
April 5, 2026
While giving a physical the doctor noticed that his patient’s shins were covered with dark bruises. “Tell me, “said the doctor, “do you play hockey or soccer?” “Neither, “said the man. “My wife and I play bridge. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Questions Occupation Homemaker
April 5, 2026
A young woman greeted the census taker. “Good morning, “said the caller, “I’m taking the census and I’d like to ask you a few questions. Occupation?” “Homemaker, “replied the woman. “Husband’s occupation?” “Manufacturer. “ “Children?” “No, “said the woman. “Dresses. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it
Splendid Exclaimed
April 5, 2026
A down and out musician was playing his harmonica in the middle of a busy shopping mall. Striding over, a policeman asked, “May I please see your permit?” “I don’t have one, “confessed the musician. “In that case, you’ll have to accompany me. “ “Splendid!” exclaimed the musician. “What shall we sing?” This joke is
Fifth Surgeon Shut
April 5, 2026
Five surgeons were taking a coffee break and were discussing their work. The first said, “I think accountants are the easiest to operate on. You open them up and everything inside is numbered. “ The second said, “I think librarians are the easiest to operate on. You open them up and everything inside is in
Difference Between Misfortune
April 5, 2026
Two philosophers were sitting at a restaurant, discussing whether or not there was a difference between misfortune and disaster. “There is most certainly a difference, “said one. “If the cook suddenly died and we couldn’t have our dinner that would be a misfortune, but certainly not a disaster. On the other hand, if a cruise
Treding Jokes
The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.
Giorgio Rushes
April 5, 2026
Giorgo and his beautiful girl-friend Isabella rush in to see the vicar: “We want to get married. Here are all our papers, and these two people are our witnesses. Can you do a quick service?” The vicar is amused. He marries the two young people, pockets his fee and asks: “Isn’t there a proverb, something
Bites Yes
April 5, 2026
“Don’t be afraid of the dog, “said the lady to Little Johnny, who was delivering her groceries. “You know the old proverb, ‘A barking dog never bites?’“ “Yes, “replied Little Johnny. “You know the proverb. I know the proverb. But does your dog know the proverb?” This joke is included in the Black Book of
Trained Parrot
April 5, 2026
There was a little old lady who was nearly blind. She had three sons and they wanted to prove which one was the best son to her. So the first son bought her a 15-room mansion thinking this would surely be the best any of them could offer her. The second son bought her a