Humor , distilled.
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Latest Jokes
Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh
Prove Fatal
April 5, 2026
Doctor: I’m sorry to have to tell you that you may have rabies, and it could prove fatal. Patient: Well, doctor, please give me pencil and paper. Doctor: To make your will? Patient: No, to make a list of people I want to bite. This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You
Eat Twelve Pieces
April 5, 2026
“I’d like to order a bar pizza, “the idiot says. “Shall I ask them to cut it into six or twelve slices, “the barmaid asks. “Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Preserving Donated Science – John Asks
April 5, 2026
John asks: Why are you drinking so much? Joe says: Because I donated my body to science, and I am preserving it until they are ready to use it. This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Watch Let Alone
April 5, 2026
The judge was instructing the jury that a witness was not necessarily to be regarded as untruthful because he changed his statement from one which he had previously made to the police. “For example, “he said, “when I entered my chambers today, I was sure I had my gold watch in my pocket. But then
Undergone Surgery
April 5, 2026
An elderly woman was brought to the emergency room with a fractured hip. The ER doctor knew that surgery would be in order for the patient. “Have you ever undergone surgery?” he asked. “Yes, “the woman said. “Remember what type of surgery it was?” “I’m not sure, “the old lady said. “It was a long
Elbow Paul Drunks
April 5, 2026
Two drunks are sitting elbow to elbow at a bar. “I wish I knew where I was going to die, “Paul says. “Why?” asks Tom “Because if I knew I would not go there “Paul replied. This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Treding Jokes
The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.
Giorgio Rushes
April 5, 2026
Giorgo and his beautiful girl-friend Isabella rush in to see the vicar: “We want to get married. Here are all our papers, and these two people are our witnesses. Can you do a quick service?” The vicar is amused. He marries the two young people, pockets his fee and asks: “Isn’t there a proverb, something
Bites Yes
April 5, 2026
“Don’t be afraid of the dog, “said the lady to Little Johnny, who was delivering her groceries. “You know the old proverb, ‘A barking dog never bites?’“ “Yes, “replied Little Johnny. “You know the proverb. I know the proverb. But does your dog know the proverb?” This joke is included in the Black Book of
Trained Parrot
April 5, 2026
There was a little old lady who was nearly blind. She had three sons and they wanted to prove which one was the best son to her. So the first son bought her a 15-room mansion thinking this would surely be the best any of them could offer her. The second son bought her a