Humor , distilled.
Discover jokes , memes and funny quotes to brighten your day.
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Latest Jokes
Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh
Apologize Mean
April 5, 2026
“I’m sorry” and “I apologize” mean the same thing… Except at a funeral. This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Thousand Dollars
April 5, 2026
A debt-overwhelmed man, hopelessly poring over a pile of bills, suddenly shouted “I’d give a thousand dollars to anyone who would do my worrying for me!” “You’re on, “said his wife. “Where is the thousand?” “That is your first worry, “he replied. This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order
We’ll Lie
April 5, 2026
Two guys find three grenades and they decide to take them to the police station. One asks, “What if one explodes before we get there?” The other replies, “We’ll lie and say we only found two. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Silversmith Examined
April 5, 2026
She had a wedding to go to, and needed a wedding gift. “Aha, “she thought, “I have that monogrammed silver tray from my wedding that I never use. I’ll just take it to a silversmith and have him remove my monogram and put hers on it. Voila, one cheap wedding present. “ She took it
Different Times
April 5, 2026
A woman sadly tells her husband: “We will not be together in heaven as we may die at different times my dear. “ After a pause her husband replied; “My dear that is why the place is known as ‘Heaven’. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it
Oink Once Pig
April 5, 2026
NASA sends a space shuttle up with two pigs and a blonde on board. While the shuttle is taking off, the NASA command center calls the first pig and asks, “Pig Number 1, do you know your mission?” The pig replies, “Oink oink. Get the shuttle into orbit and launch the trillion dollar satellite. Oink
Treding Jokes
The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.
Giorgio Rushes
April 5, 2026
Giorgo and his beautiful girl-friend Isabella rush in to see the vicar: “We want to get married. Here are all our papers, and these two people are our witnesses. Can you do a quick service?” The vicar is amused. He marries the two young people, pockets his fee and asks: “Isn’t there a proverb, something
Bites Yes
April 5, 2026
“Don’t be afraid of the dog, “said the lady to Little Johnny, who was delivering her groceries. “You know the old proverb, ‘A barking dog never bites?’“ “Yes, “replied Little Johnny. “You know the proverb. I know the proverb. But does your dog know the proverb?” This joke is included in the Black Book of
Trained Parrot
April 5, 2026
There was a little old lady who was nearly blind. She had three sons and they wanted to prove which one was the best son to her. So the first son bought her a 15-room mansion thinking this would surely be the best any of them could offer her. The second son bought her a