Beauty Salon
Wife comes out of a beauty salon and asks husband: “So, how do I look?” “Well, at least you tried… “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Jokes Ltd
Sizes Jacob
Jacob, age 87, and Rebecca, age 84, are all excited about their decision to get married. They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding and on the way they pass a drugstore. Jacob suggests they go in. Jacob addresses the man behind the counter: “Are you the owner?” The pharmacist answers “Yes. “ Says … Read more
Oral Sex
“Grandpa, do you still have sex with grandma?” “Yes but just oral. “ “What is oral sex?” “I say “Fuck you”, she says “Fuck you too”! This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Garage Rain
A guy goes fishing every Saturday morning. He gets up early and eager, makes his lunch, hooks up his boat and off he goes, all day long. Well, one Saturday morning he gets up early, dresses quietly, gets his lunch made, puts on his long johns, grabs the dog and goes to the garage to … Read more
Bird Fires Feet
Two statisticians go bird hunting. The first one fires at the bird but overshoots by 5 feet. The second one fires and undershoots the bird by 5 feet. They both give each other a high-five and say “Got it!” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Married Again Next
An 87-year-old man chats with his doctor: “So, I’m getting married again next week, doc!” “Oh, that’s wonderful! And how old is the bride?” “She’s 19. “ “That’s fantastic – but I have to warn you, too much action in the bed can be deadly!” “Ah well, in case she dies, I’ll just have to … Read more
Apostrophe Possessive Divorcing
Mr. and Mrs. Apostrophe are divorcing. He found her to be possessive and she hated his contractions. The marriage felt like a sentence. This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Met Nick Passenger
A man walks into the street and manages to get a taxi just going by. He gets in, and the cabbie says, “Perfect timing. You’re just like Nick. “ The passenger asks “Who?” The cabbie says “Nick Benson. There’s a guy who did everything right. Like my coming along when you needed a cab. It … Read more
Lives Depend
An escaped convict broke into a house and tied up a young couple in their bedroom. The husband turned to his wife and whispered, “Honey, this guy hasn’t seen action in years. If he wants sex, I think it’s best to just go along with it and pretend you like it. Our lives depend on … Read more
Expiry Date
A wife to her husband: “Honey, what are you doing?” “I’m reading our marriage certificate. “ “What for?” “I’m looking for the expiry date… “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.