Jokes Ltd 
For his birthday, little Johnny asked for a 10-speed bicycle. His father said, “Son, we’d give you one, but the mortgage on this house is $285,000 and your mother just lost her job. There’s no way we can afford it now. “ The next day the father saw little Johnny heading out the front door … Read more
A woman, on meeting a psychologist at a party, made a pitch for some free professional advice. “What kind of toy would you suggest giving a little boy on his third birthday?” she asked. “First I’d have to know more about the child, “the psychologist hedged. The woman took a deep breath. “He’s very bright … Read more
Two starving cannibals, a father and son, were out trying to get something to eat. They walked deep into the jungle and waited by a path. Before long, along came a little old man. The son said, “Oh Dad, there’s one. “ “No, “said the father. “There’s not enough meat on that one to even … Read more
A teacher asks her students to give her a sentence with the word “fascinate” in it. A little girl says, “Walt Disney World is fascinating. “ The teacher says, “No, I said, fascinate. “ Another little girl says, “There’s so much fascination when it comes to sea life. “ The teacher again says, “No, the … Read more
A Sunday school teacher was teaching her class about the difference between right and wrong. “All right children, let’s take another example, “she said. “If I were to get into a man’s pocket and take his wallet with all his money, what would I be?” Little Johnny raises his hand, and with a confident smile, … Read more
An elderly couple met for a romp in the broom closet at the nursing home. They undressed and were about to screw, The woman decided to warn the man of her heart condition. “I should tell you, I have acute angina, “she said. The man replied, “That’s very good because you have the ugliest breasts … Read more
A man goes to visit his 85-year-old grandpa in hospital. “How are you grandpa? he asks. “Feeling fine, “says the old man. “What’s the food like?” “Terrific, wonderful menus. “ “And the nursing?” “Just couldn’t be better. These young nurses really take care of you. “ “What about sleeping? Do you sleep OK?” “No problem, … Read more
A reporter was interviewing a 104 year-old woman: “And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?” the reporter asked. She simply replied, “No peer pressure. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
A grandmother sent her grandson a shirt for his birthday. The only trouble was that he had a size 14 neck and the shirt was size 12. When the grandson sent a thank you note, he wrote, “Dear Grandma. Thanks a lot for the shirt. I’d write more, but I’m all choked up. “ This … Read more
An old lady went to visit her dentist. When it was her turn, she sat in the chair, lowered her underpants, and raised her legs. The dentist said: “Excuse me, but I’m not a gynecologist. “ “I know, “said the old lady. “I want you to take my husband’s teeth out. “ This joke is … Read more