I’ve Lived Alone

An elderly spinster called the lawyer’s office and told the receptionist she wanted to see the lawyer about having a will prepared. The receptionist suggested they set up an appointment for a convenient time for the spinster to come into the office. The woman replied, “You must understand, I’ve lived alone all my life, I … Read more

Deaf Twin Shouted

Twin sisters in a Nursing Home were turning 100 years old. The local newspaper sends a photographer to take pictures… One of the twins was hard of hearing and the other could hear quite well. Once the photographer arrived he asked the sisters to sit on the sofa. The deaf sister said to her twin, … Read more

Prettiest Sheep

A cowboy headed out to seek his fortune on the frontier of the old West. He settled on a ranching town near the very edge of civilization. So far away, there weren’t any women to be found for love or money. He was young and full of hormones, and after a month, he started getting … Read more

Village Blacksmith

The village blacksmith finally found an apprentice willing to work hard at low pay for long hours. The blacksmith immediately began his instructions to the lad, “When I take the horseshoe out of the fire, I’ll lay it on the anvil; and when I nod my head, you hit it with this hammer. “ The … Read more

Nazi Soldier

An old man is being interviewed on live TV “Hello everybody. We are with Michael, who is 97 years old. Michael, tell us, what’s your secret?” “During the war, I sucked off a Nazi soldier in exchange for food. “ “…I meant about your age. “ “Ah… Eating healthy. “ This joke is included in … Read more

Sex Pull

Two deaf people get married. During the first week of marriage, they find that they are unable to communicate in the bedroom with the lights out, since they can’t see each other signing. After several nights of fumbling around and many misunderstandings, the wife figures out a solution. “Honey, why don’t we agree on some … Read more

Sex Lives Sue

Sue and Sally were discussing their sex lives. Sue said, “Mine’s OK. We get it on every week, but it’s no big adventure. How’s yours?” Sally replied, “It’s been great ever since we got into S&M. “ Sue was surprised. “Really, Sally, I never would have guessed that you’d go for that. “ “Oh, sure, … Read more