Jokes Ltd Two deaf people get married. During the first week of marriage, they find that they are unable to communicate in the bedroom with the lights out, since they can’t see each other signing. After several nights of fumbling around and many misunderstandings, the wife figures out a solution. “Honey, why don’t we agree on some … Read more
A man met a beautiful lady and he decided he wanted to marry her right away. She said, “But we don’t know anything about each other. “ He said, “That’s all right, we’ll learn about each other as we go along. “ She consented, and they were married, and went on a honeymoon to a … Read more
Sue and Sally were discussing their sex lives. Sue said, “Mine’s OK. We get it on every week, but it’s no big adventure. How’s yours?” Sally replied, “It’s been great ever since we got into S&M. “ Sue was surprised. “Really, Sally, I never would have guessed that you’d go for that. “ “Oh, sure, … Read more
One misty Scottish morning a man is driving through the hills to Inverness. Suddenly out of the mist, a massive red-haired highlander steps into the middle of the road. The man is at least six feet four, has a huge red beard and, despite the wind, mist, and near freezing temperatures, is wearing only his … Read more
A local lawyer was sitting in his office the other morning when a beautiful young lady walked in. Without any preliminaries she said she wanted a divorce. “On what grounds?” asked the lawyer. “I don’t think he is faithful to me, “she replied. “And what makes you think he isn’t faithful?” asked the lawyer. “Well, … Read more
Two women came before wise King Solomon, dragging between them a young man in a three-piece suit. “This young lawyer agreed to marry my daughter, “said one. “No! He agreed to marry MY daughter, “said the other. And so they argued before the King until he called for silence. “Bring me my biggest sword, “said … Read more
A lawyer’s dog, running around town unleashed, heads for a butcher shop and steals a roast. The butcher goes to the lawyer’s office and asks, “if a dog running unleashed steals a piece of meat from my store, do I have a right to demand payment for the meat from the dog’s owner?” The lawyer … Read more
A man appears before a judge one day, asking for a divorce. The judge quietly reviews some papers and then says, “Please tell me why you are seeking a divorce. “ “Because, “the man says, “I live in a two-story house. “ The Judge replies, “What kind of a reason is that! What’s the big … Read more
This guy called up his lawyer to tell him he was filing for divorce, and the lawyer inquired as to the grounds for the suit. “I’ve got grounds, all right, “sputtered the irate husband. “Can you believe my wife told me I’m a lousy lover?” “That’s why you’re suing?” pursued his lawyer. “Of course not. … Read more
A gang of robbers broke into a lawyer’s club by mistake. The old legal lions gave them a fight for their life and their money. The gang was very happy to escape. “It ain’t so bad, “one crook noted. “We got $25 between us. “ The boss screamed:”I warned you to stay clear of lawyers-we … Read more