Jokes Ltd 
A ventriloquist is working in a small rural town and during his show a local stands up and yells, “Hey You! On Stage! You’ve been making smart-aleck remarks about us small-town folk being stupid all night long! We’re not all stupid, ya know!” “Relax” said the ventriloquist, “They’re just jokes!” “I’m not talking to you, … Read more
A man who hadn’t attended church in years suddenly began attending faithfully on Sunday mornings instead of going fishing as was his normal habit. The pastor was highly gratified and at the end of service one morning told him, “How wonderful it makes me feel to see you at services with your good wife!” “Well, … Read more
A mother wanted to teach her daughter a moral lesson. She gave the girl a quarter and a dollar for church. “Put whichever one you want in the collection plate and keep the other for yourself, “she told the girl. Sunday, when they were coming out of the church, the mother asked her daughter which … Read more
A priest and a pastor are standing by the side of a road holding up a sign that reads “The end is near! Turn around now before it’s too late!” A passing driver yells, “You guys are nuts!” and speeds past them. From around the curve, they hear screeching tires, then a big splash. The … Read more
A charming blonde goes into a bar and sits down next to a very dumb guy. Suddenly she strikes up a conversation with him and soon they become rather chummy. It starts to get late and the bartender calls out for the last drink for alcohol, then the blonde leans over to the guy and … Read more
An elderly American couple went on vacation to Jerusalem. While they were there, the wife passed away. The undertaker explained to the husband that, “You can have her shipped home for $5,000 or you can have her buried here in the Holy Land for $150”. The man thought about it and told him that he … Read more
A blonde guy was sitting in a bar when he spotted a very pretty young woman. He advances towards her when the bartender says to him, “Don’t waste your time on that one. She’s a lesbian. “ The blonde guy goes over to her anyway and says, “So which part of Lesbia are you from?” … Read more
A man walks into work with two black eyes. His boss asks what happened. The man says, “I was sitting behind a big woman at church. When we stood up to sing hymns, I noticed that her dress was caught in her crack, so I pulled it out. She turned around and punched me square … Read more
Paddy found a wallet with 50 pounds in it. He wasn’t sure how to proceed, but then he thought, “What would Jesus do?” So he turned it into wine. This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
One Sunday a pastor found several letters awaiting him. He opened one and found it contained the single word, “Fool. “ Quietly and with becoming seriousness he shared the letter with the congregation and announced, “I have known many instances of a person writing a letter and forgetting to sign his name, but this is … Read more