Jokes Ltd A man comes home and finds he has a letter from the Inland Revenue, advising him that he’s going to be audited. In a panic, he calls his accountant:”Oh my God, I’m going to be audited, what do I do?” he says. “Don’t worry, I have all your receipts and paperwork in order. “says the … Read more
Halfway through Joe’s shift at the photoshop, a guy came in to pick up some photos of his naked wife. Naturally, Joe had a little peek as he handed them over. “Would you like the negatives?” he asked. “Yes please, “the guy said sheepishly. Joe said, “Your wife’s got saggy tits, a large belly and … Read more
Someone mistakenly leaves the cages open in the reptile house at the Zoo and there are snakes slithering all over the place. Frantically, the keeper tries everything, but he can’t get them back in their cages. Finally he says, “Quick, call my mother in law!” “Your mother in law? Why??” “We need someone who speaks … Read more
A golfer is walking down the road carrying his clubs when he sees an Arab being held up at gunpoint. He pulls out a wedge and smashes it over the back of the robber’s head, knocking him unconscious. “You probably saved my life, “says the grateful Arab. “I am a member of the Saudi Royal … Read more
“Excuse me, this coffee tastes like mud. “ Waiter- “Yes sir, it’s fresh ground. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
It had promised to be a sensational divorce case, with the wife accused of incredible escapades. Testifying before her own attorney, she projected an image of sweet innocence, told a tale of wifely fidelity and sacrifice, and was quite believable. When it was time for cross-examination though, the husband’s lawyer arose and said, “Isn’t it … Read more
A woman went to a lawyer to discuss divorcing her husband. “Don’t you love him anymore?” asked the lawyer. “Oh, I still love him, “she replied, “but all he ever wants is to make love, I can’t take it anymore. “ “Instead of divorcing him, why don’t you try charging him every time he wants … Read more
The madam opened the brothel door to see a rather dignified, well-dressed good looking man in his late 40s. “May I help you?” she asked. “I want to see Valerie, “the man replied. “Sir, Valerie is one of our most expensive ladies. Perhaps you would prefer someone else, “said the madam. “No, I must see … Read more
“Excuse me, “a young fellow said to an older man, “I’ve just moved here and I wonder if this town has any criminal lawyers?” “Well, “replied the older man, “I have lived here all my life and all I can tell you is we are pretty sure we do, but no one has been able … Read more
An elderly and somewhat hard-of-hearing man was sitting in a stylish downtown attorney’s office as his lawyer handed him his will. “Your estate is very complex, “said the lawyer, “but I’ve made sure that all of your wishes will be executed. Due to the complexity, my fee is $4500. “ Just then, the phone rang … Read more