Jokes Ltd A lady is having a bad day at the roulette tables in Vegas. She’s down to her last $50. Exasperated, she exclaims to the whole table, “What rotten luck I’ve had today! What in the world should I do now?” A man standing next to her suggests, “I don’t know, why don’t you play your … Read more
An old couple were celebrating their 60th anniversary. The wife said to her husband, “Honey, let’s get stark naked and sit at the dining table and eat our dinner!” As they sat at the dining table the wife said, “Honey I am beginning to get very hot and very aroused!” The husband says, “That is … Read more
A group of Americans was touring Ireland. One of the women in the group was constantly complaining. The bus seats are uncomfortable. The food is terrible. It’s too hot. It’s too cold. The accommodations are awful. The group arrived at the site of the famous Blarney Stone. “Good luck will be following you all your … Read more
A local charity had never received a donation from the town’s banker, so the director made a phone call. “Our records show you make $500,000 a year, yet you haven’t given a penny to charity, “the director began. “Wouldn’t you like to help the community?” The banker replied, “Did your research show that my mother … Read more
Interviewer: “What drives you?” Candidate: “The bus mostly. “ Interviewer: “I mean what motivates you to get out of bed in the morning?” Candidate: “Missing the bus!” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
A 16-year-old boy who works part-time pulls into his parent’s driveway in a Porsche. Naturally, his mom and dad know that there’s no way he earned enough with his after-school job to own such a car. “Where did you get that car?” his mom and dad scream in unison. He calmly tells them, “I bought … Read more
There were two young men from the South who loved to fish and they wanted to do some ice fishing. They’d heard about it up in Canada, so they took off up there. The lake was frozen nicely. They stopped just before they got to the lake at a little bait shop and got all … Read more
A man arrived at work one morning wearing a good sized diamond ring. One of his co-workers noticed the sparkler and asked about it. The man explained, “My mother-in-law gave me a thousand dollars before she passed away. She said that when she dies, I should buy a beautiful stone. So I did!” This joke … Read more
A young lady stops at the gas station to fill up and realizes she has locked her keys inside the car. When going inside to pay, she asks for a hanger to unlock her car. After a few minutes the attendant comes to help. The not so bright lady is moving the hanger, while inside … Read more
A burglar broke into the home of a good Quaker gentleman. From upstairs, the Quaker heard the noises below and realized there was an intruder. He took his hunting rifle to the top of the stairs and announced: “Friend, I mean to do thee no harm, but where thou standest is where I am about … Read more