Jokes Ltd Three visitors to London climb up the tower that houses Big Ben and decide to have a contest. They’re going to throw their watches off the top, run down the stairs and try to catch the watches before they hit the ground. The first tourist throws his watch, takes three steps and hears his watch … Read more
A dumb girl and her husband are lying in bed listening to the next door neighbor’s dog. It has been in the backyard barking for hours and hours. The dumb girl jumps up out of bed and says, “I’ve had enough of this. “She goes downstairs. After some time she finally comes back up to … Read more
A man who’d just died is delivered to a local mortuary and he’s wearing an expensive, expertly tailored black suit. The mortician asks the deceased’s wife how she would like the body dressed, pointing out that the man does look good in the black suit he is already wearing. The widow, however, says that she … Read more
There were two hunters who had never hunted before, so they took a hunters safety course. In this course it was stressed that if you ever got lost in the woods, firing three shots in the air was the universal signal that you needed help. The very first day of hunting the two hunters became … Read more
Deciding to take up jogging, the middle-aged man was astounded by the wide selection of jogging shoes available at the local sports shoe store. While trying on a basic pair of jogging shoes, he noticed a minor feature and asked the clerk about it. “What’s this little pocket thing here on the side for?” “Oh, … Read more
Husband to stepford wife: “There are times we must save money and make every nickel count!” Wife: “That’s the reason I bought three loaves of bread today. “ Husband: “Three loaves of bread? I haven’t seen anything in the news where there has been a raise in bread. “ Wife: “I don’t know anything about … Read more
Auntie Madeline bought herself a new rear-engine continental car. She took an old friend for a spin, but after only half a mile, the car broke down. Both women got out and opened up the front of the car. “Oh, Maddie, “said her friend, “you’ve lost your engine!” “Never mind, dear, “said auntie. “I’ve got … Read more
A funny magician accidentally turned his wife into a couch and his two kids into armchairs. He started to panic and thought to himself, “What on earth have I done?” He began to ponder, “How am I going to bring back my beloved family?” So, he thought for a while and decided a good idea … Read more
Harry was a compulsive gambler who would bet on anything —cars, horses, roulette, dogs, football, baseball, cards, dice, basketball and everything else. One day after a run of bad luck, he said to his best friend, “Buddy, I hate asking you this, but I need $3,000 urgently. We’ve got no food in the house, I … Read more
Two friends Jack and John go to the bank, when armed robbers burst in. While several of the robbers take the money from the tellers, others line-up the customers, including the two friends, up against a wall and proceed to take their wallets, watches, and other valuables. While this is going on Jack jams something … Read more