Jokes Ltd

Santa Clause Wrote

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One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Clause, “Please send me a sister. “ Santa Clause wrote him back, “Ok, send me your mother. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.

Human Body Expands

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Sixth grade science teacher Mrs. Smith asks her class: “Who can tell me which organ of the human body expands to 10 times its usual size when stimulated?” Nobody raises a hand, so she calls on the first student to look her way. “Mary, can you tell me which organ of the human body expands … Read more

Man’s Arse

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A few days before his proctological exam, a one eyed man accidentally swallowed his glass eye. He was worried for a while, but there were no ill effects, so he forgot about it. Once he was in the doctor’s office, the man followed instructions,undressed, and bent over. The first thing the proctologist saw when he … Read more

Steve Headed Home

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Steve and his buddies were hanging out and planning an upcoming fishing trip. Unfortunately, he had to tell them that he couldn’t go this time because his wife wouldn’t let him. After a lot of teasing and name calling, Steve headed home frustrated. The following week when Steve’s buddies arrived at the lake to set … Read more

I’ll Explain

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Husband always insisted on making love in the dark. After 20 years wife turns on the light, finds him holding a vibrator. She goes ballistic, “You impotent bastard! How could you lie to me all these years?” Husband looks her straight in the eyes & calmly says, “I’ll explain the toy, you explain the kids…. … Read more

Nice Tits

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The nuns in a monastery are washing themselves all together when the doorbell rings. One nun goes to the door and says ‘who is it?’ An elderly gentleman replies “It’s the blind man from the village” so the nun shouts to the others, “Don’t worry it’s just the blind man from the village, I’ll let … Read more

Hand Job Harry

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Harry and his wife are having hard financial times, so they decide that she’ll become a hooker. She’s not quite sure what to do, so Harry says, “Stand in front of that bar and pick up a guy. Tell him that you charge a hundred bucks. If you have a question, I’ll be parked around … Read more

Taxi Driver – Young Date

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A young man and his date were parked on a back road some distance from town. They were about to have sex when the girl stopped. “I really should have mentioned this earlier, but I’m actually a hooker and I charge $100 for sex. “ The man reluctantly paid her, and they did their thing. … Read more

Box Sue

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One day, while Sue was cleaning under the bed, she found a small box. Curious, she opened it and found 3 eggs and 10,000 dollars. A little bit suspicious, she confronted her husband of twenty years about it. “Oh, that, “Frank said. “Every time I cheated on you, I put an egg in this box. … Read more

Barracks Door

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The manager hired a new secretary. She was young, sweet and polite. One day while taking dictation, she noticed his fly was open. While leaving the room, she courteously said, “Oh, sir, did you know that your barracks door is open?” He did not understand her remark, but later on he happened to look down … Read more