Jokes Ltd A man asks his doctor: “Do you think I’ll live to be a hundred?” The doctor asks the man “Well, that depends. Do you drink?” “Oh, no sir! I abstain from all alcohol. Soda, too. I just drink plenty of fresh water. “ “Do you smoke?” “No, sir! Never smoked in my life, and I … Read more
A woman was having a medical problem – her husband was snoring. She called the doctor one morning, and asked him if there was anything he could do to relieve her “suffering”. “Well, there is one operation I can perform that will cure your husband, but it is really rather expensive. It will cost $1000 … Read more
Two campers are hiking in the woods when one is bitten on the rear end by a rattlesnake. “I’ll go into town for a doctor, “the other says. He runs ten miles to a small town and finds the only doctor delivering a baby. “I can’t leave, “the doctor says. “But here’s what to do. … Read more
Patient to psychiatrist: “I have this fear of being in tight, enclosed places. “ Psychiatrist: “That’s a very common disorder. Lots of people have the same problem. “ Patient: “It’s a little bit more complicated than that. I have an abnormal fear of being in an elevator with a bunch of department store Santa’s. “ … Read more
A boxer complains to his doctor about insomnia. Doc: “Have you tried counting sheep?” Boxer: “Yes, but when I get to 9, I always stand up. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked, “How old was your husband?” “Ninety eight, “she replied, “three years older than me. “ “So you’re 95?” the undertaker commented. She responded, “Hardly worth going home, is it?” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. … Read more
A blonde goes to the doctor with both of her ears and her right hand are burned. “Sit down and tell me how it happened, “says the doctor. “I was ironing my clothes when I received a call. Instead of picking up the phone, I picked up the iron and burned my ear. “ “What … Read more
The older police detective stopped by Matt’s house and asked where he was between 5 and 6? Matt respectfully replied, “In the Kindergarten, sir. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
A police officer arrives at the scene of an accident, in which a car smashed into a tree. The cop rushes over to the vehicle and asks the driver, “Are you seriously hurt?” “How should I know?” the man answers, “I’m not a lawyer!” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You … Read more
“I thought you were going to marry Eddie? You said it was love at first sight. “ “It was – it was the second and third sights that put me off him. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.