Dinner Speaker

The after dinner speaker was droning on and on and on, bringing everyone to tears. One of the guests, fighting to keep his drooping eyelids open, turned to the lady on his right and said, “Can nothing be done to shut him up?” “If there is, I’d like to know, “said the lady, “I’m his … Read more

Secret Formula Tablets

The police recently arrested a man selling “secret formula” tablets he claimed gave eternal youth. When going through their files they noticed it was the fifth time he was caught for committing this same criminal medical fraud. He had earlier been arrested in 1794, 1856, 1921 and 1993… This joke is included in the Black … Read more

Rep I’d

A man at the airline counter tells the rep. “I’d like this bag to go to Berlin, this one to California, and this one to London. The rep says, “I’m sorry sir. We can’t do that. “ The man replied: Nonsense. That is what you did last time I flew with you. This joke is … Read more

Impressive Personage

His girlfriend’s father was interviewing young Charles. “So, “said that impressive personage, “you want to be my son-in-law, do you? “Not particularly, “said Charles tactlessly, “but if I want to marry your daughter I haven’t much choice, have I?” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.

Barber Men’s Hair

When Fred went to his barber he expressed concern about going bald. Fred: “Now that I’m getting older I’m worried about my hair falling out. “ Barber: “Men’s hair doesn’t ever fall out. “ Fred: “I’ve seen many balding older men. “ Barber: “When men get older their hair follicles get weak making the hair … Read more

Particular Disease

A hypochondriac told his doctor he was certain he had a fatal disease. “Nonsense, “scolded the doctor. “You wouldn’t know if you had that. With that particular disease there’s no discomfort of any kind. “ “Oh no!” gasped the patient. “Those are my symptoms exactly. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of … Read more

Commented Hmm

A lady dropped her handbag in the bustle of holiday shopping. An honest, little boy noticed her drop the handbag, so he picked it up and returned it to her. The lady looked into her handbag and commented, “Hmm… That’s funny. When I lost my bag there was a $20 bill in it. Now there … Read more

Moth Dentist

A man goes into a dentist’s office. Man: “Excuse me, can you help me? I think I’m a moth. “ Dentist: “You don’t need a dentist. You need a psychiatrist. “ Man: “Yes, I know. “ Dentist: “So, why did you come in here?” Man: “The light was on. “ This joke is included in … Read more

Lady Smiled

An elderly lady was stopped to pull into a parking space when a young man in his new red Mercedes went around her and parked in the space she was waiting for. The little old lady was so upset that she went up to the man and said, ”I was going to park there! ” … Read more