Jokes Ltd 
“How come you’re late?” asked the bartender, as the blonde waitress walked into the bar. “It was awful, “she explained. “I was walking down Elm street and there was a terrible accident. A man was thrown from his car and he was lying in the middle of the street. His leg was broken, his skull … Read more
A man walks into his local butcher’s shop and complains about the leg of lamb that he had previously bought. “When I cooked it the joint had shrunk so much it went from 12 inches long to only 4-inches. “ The butcher said to the man “That’s funny, my wife knitted me a sweater and … Read more
Store owner: “Thank you for your patronage. I wish I had twenty customers like you. “ Customer: “Gosh, it’s nice to hear that, but I’m kind of surprised. You know that I argue every bill and always pay late. “ Store owner: “I’d still like twenty customers like you. The problem is, I have two … Read more
Bob had this problem of getting up late in the morning and was always late for work. After a few weeks of this, his boss was mad and threatened to fire him if he didn’t do something about it. So Bob went to his doctor, who gave him a pill and told him to take … Read more
A panda bear walks into a bar and orders a sandwich. The waiter brings him the sandwich. The panda bear eats it, pulls out a pistol, kills the waiter, and gets up and starts to walk out. The bartender yells for him to stop. The panda bear asks, “What do you want?” The bartender replies, … Read more
A lady walks into a bar and sees a really cute guy sitting at the counter. She goes over and asks him what he is drinking. “Magic Beer”, he says. She thinks he’s a little crazy, so she walks around the bar, but after that there is no one else worth talking to,goes back to … Read more
A neutron walks into a bar. “I’d like a beer, “he says. The bartender promptly serves up a beer. “How much will that be?” asks the neutron. “For you?” replies the bartender, “no charge This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
A grasshopper hops into a bar and the bartender looks at him and says, “HEY! We have a drink named after you!” The grasshopper looks at the bartender and says, “You have a drink named Harry?” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
One day a man is walking down the street when he sees an old man with a nice looking dog. He goes over to the man and asks, “Does your dog bite?” The old man replies “No never”. When the man bends down to stroke the dog, it immediately takes a snap at his hand. … Read more