Jokes Ltd Harry staggers exhausted into his house. ‘What’s wrong with you?’ asks his wife. ‘I thought I’d save my 75p bus fare by running behind the bus,’ gasps Harry. ‘You idiot,’ says his wife. ‘If you’d run home behind a taxi you could’ve saved a tenner.’ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. … Read more
A man orders a pint of beer, notices it tastes sour and complains to the barman. ‘What are you moaning about?’ says the barman. ‘You’ve only got a pint of that rubbish, I’ve got three barrels full.’ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
“I don’t think I look thirty, do you, dear?” asked the wife. “No, darling, not now, “her husband replied. “But you used to. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Patrick, a teenager , worked part time in a hardware store. One day a man came in to buy hooks for hanging plants. But there were only two hooks left in the gold color that he needed. Patrick, trying to be helpful, suggested, “Could you maybe use the silver or the white instead?” The customer … Read more
“From tomorrow you are free!” the lawyer informs his client. “Yes, I’m so happy, I have nothing to say”, grumbled the prisoner. “I tormented myself for 5 years to make a rope ladder, 3 years to rasp the cage bars and you came now with the amnesty ordinance, exactly now when I wanted to break … Read more
After a particularly poor game of golf, a popular club member skipped the clubhouse and started to go home. As he was walking to the parking lot to get his car, a policeman stopped him and asked, “Did you tee off on the sixteenth hole about twenty minutes ago?” “Yes, “the golfer responded. “Did you … Read more
A retiree said to his 80 year old friend, “Is it true you’re getting married?” “Sure is. “ “Have I met her?” “I don’t think so. “ “Is she attractive?” “Won’t win any beauty contests. “ “Can she cook?” “Can’t even boil an egg. “ “Is she rich?” “Rich? Heck, she’s so poor she can’t … Read more
A guy shows up late for work. The boss yells, ‘You should’ve been here at 8. 30!’ He replies. ‘Why? What happened at 8. 30?’ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
A guy comes walking into a bar with a turtle in his hand. The turtle’s one eye is black and blue, two of his legs are bandaged, and his whole shell is taped together with duct tape. The bartender looks at the guy and asks: “What’s wrong with your turtle?” “Not a thing, “the man … Read more
After a heavy night at the pub, a drunken man decides to sleep off his drunkenness at a local hotel. He approaches the reception desk, takes care of the formalities and heads off to his suite. Several minutes later, the drunk staggers back to the reception desk and demands his room be changed. “But sir, … Read more