Jokes Ltd Two deer hunters met in the woods. The first one said to the other, “Boy am I glad to see you, I’ve been lost for hours. “ The second deer hunter said, “Don’t get too excited, friend, I’ve been lost for three weeks. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You … Read more
A very inebriated lady walked into a bar shortly before closing time, sat at the bar and ordered, “Barbender, barbender, I would like a Martoutsy. “ The bartender brought her a Martini, which she drinks in one gulp. “Barbender, I would like another Martoutsy”, again the bartender brought her a Martini. By this time the … Read more
One night as a bartender is closing up his bar, he hears a knock at the back door. When he opens the door, there stands a bum who asks, “Can I have a toothpick?” The bartender gives him a toothpick and continues cleaning up his bar. Five minutes later, he hears another knock at the … Read more
A soldier sought shelter in the cook’s tent during a dust storm that swept over the camp during war maneuvers. He noticed that the lid of the soup kettle was awry, permitting dust to blow into the soup and called it to the cook’s attention. “If you’d put that lid more firmly on that kettle, … Read more
A man had an idea that could make him rich. After it was perfected he brought it to an inventors’ help group. When asked what his great invention was, he pulled out an apple. The group looked at it and started laughing. The inventor said, “You don’t understand! Taste it. “ A volunteer tried it … Read more
It’s night and a drunk is crawling along the pavement looking for something. A passer-by offers to help and asks what’s missing. The drunk replies that he’s lost his watch. ‘And where did you lose it?’ asks the passer-by. ‘About half a mile up the road,’ replies the drunk. ‘So why are you down here?’ … Read more
A man walks into the sheriff’s office… “I want to become a deputy!” “Good, I want you to catch this man” says the sheriff handling the man, a wanted poster. The poster reads: ‘Last seen wearing a brown paper hat, brown paper shirt, brown paper pants, and brown paper boots. ‘ “What’s he wanted for?” … Read more
Harry staggers exhausted into his house. ‘What’s wrong with you?’ asks his wife. ‘I thought I’d save my 75p bus fare by running behind the bus,’ gasps Harry. ‘You idiot,’ says his wife. ‘If you’d run home behind a taxi you could’ve saved a tenner.’ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. … Read more
A man orders a pint of beer, notices it tastes sour and complains to the barman. ‘What are you moaning about?’ says the barman. ‘You’ve only got a pint of that rubbish, I’ve got three barrels full.’ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
“I don’t think I look thirty, do you, dear?” asked the wife. “No, darling, not now, “her husband replied. “But you used to. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.