Jokes Ltd A man is in a bar talking to his friend. “Last night, while I was out drinking, a burglar broke into my house. “ “Did he get anything?”asks his friend. “Yes, “says the man. “A broken jaw, six teeth knocked out, and a pair of broken ribs. My wife thought it was me coming home … Read more
Two old ladies are at the movies. “Psst, “says one old lady. “I think the guy next to me is beating off. “ “What makes you say that?” “He’s using my hand. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
“Your Honor, it was an accident! I had to run into the fence to keep from hitting the cow!” “Was it a Jersey cow?” “I am not sure – I didn’t see her license plate!” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
A horse walks into a bar. He walks up to the bartender and says “Give me a beer. “ The bartender is stunned, so he heads to the back of the bar to speak with the owner. “Hey boss” he says, “there’s a horse in the bar asking for a beer. “ The bar owner … Read more
Taking his seat in his chambers, the judge faces the opposing lawyers. ‘Both of you have given me a bribe,’ he says. ‘You, James, gave me £15,000. And you, Ronald, gave me £10,000.’ The judge reaches into his pocket, pulls out a cheque, and hands it to Tom. ‘I’m returning £5,000, and we’ll now decide … Read more
Two guys die in a car accident and an angel descends from heaven. “I am to give you your wings so you can fly to heaven. But if you think one dirty thought or act out one dirty act your wings will fall off. “ So they fly to heaven without any trouble but when … Read more
Two robbers were robbing a hotel. The first one said, “I hear sirens. Jump!” The second one said, “But we’re on the 13th floor!” The first one screamed back, “This is no time to be superstitious. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
A 60-year-old millionaire has just married a 20-year-old model. “You crafty old devil, “says his friend. ‘How did you manage to get a lovely young wife like that?’ “Easy, “replies the millionaire. “I told her I was 92. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Two old friends met by chance on the street. After chatting for some time, one said to the other, “I’m terribly sorry, but I’ve forgotten your name. You’ll need to tell me. “ The other stared at him thoughtfully for a long time, then replied, “How soon do you need to know? This joke is … Read more
Wife: I have blisters on my hands from using the broom all day. Husband: Well next time take the car then silly. This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.