Jokes Ltd Two brothers, Bob and George, both work for a lumberyard. One day, Bob tells George that he can tell what any piece of wood is just by smelling it. Unbelieving, George blindfolds Bob and proceeds to test the theory. The first piece of wood Bob smells, he instantly identifies as maple. The second piece Bob … Read more
When the bar was about to get closed, a very drunk guy got up to go home. He stumbles and falls a couple of times and finally manages to get out of the door. As he gathers himself, he sees a nun passing by. He stumbles over to her and starts punching her in the … Read more
Husband admiring his body in the mirror says to wife “Look at that, 14 stones of pure dynamite !” Wife replies “yeah, shame about the 2 inch fuse… “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
A little old lady sits at the luncheonette counter and orders a hamburger. The huge guy behind the counter bellows, “One burger!” Whereupon the chef grabs a huge hunk of chopped meat, stuffs it in his bare armpit, pumps his arm a few times to squeeze it flat, and then tosses it on the grill. … Read more
A man is in a bar talking to his friend. “Last night, while I was out drinking, a burglar broke into my house. “ “Did he get anything?”asks his friend. “Yes, “says the man. “A broken jaw, six teeth knocked out, and a pair of broken ribs. My wife thought it was me coming home … Read more
Two guys die in a car accident and an angel descends from heaven. “I am to give you your wings so you can fly to heaven. But if you think one dirty thought or act out one dirty act your wings will fall off. “ So they fly to heaven without any trouble but when … Read more
Two robbers were robbing a hotel. The first one said, “I hear sirens. Jump!” The second one said, “But we’re on the 13th floor!” The first one screamed back, “This is no time to be superstitious. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
A 60-year-old millionaire has just married a 20-year-old model. “You crafty old devil, “says his friend. ‘How did you manage to get a lovely young wife like that?’ “Easy, “replies the millionaire. “I told her I was 92. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Two old friends met by chance on the street. After chatting for some time, one said to the other, “I’m terribly sorry, but I’ve forgotten your name. You’ll need to tell me. “ The other stared at him thoughtfully for a long time, then replied, “How soon do you need to know? This joke is … Read more
Wife: I have blisters on my hands from using the broom all day. Husband: Well next time take the car then silly. This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.