Headed Home
Two blonds were driving to Disneyland. The sign said: Disneyland Left. So they started crying and headed home. This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Jokes
Browse a highly curated database of jokes designed to optimize your daily dopamine metrics. From efficient dad jokes to complex narrative punchlines, these text assets are guaranteed to lower your productivity, increase your morale, and provide a measurable return on engagement.
Tight Daddy
Little Johnny is passing his parents’ bedroom in the middle of the night, in search of a glass of water. Hearing a lot of moaning and thumping, he peeks in and catches his folks in The Act. Before dad can even react, Little Johnny exclaims “Oh, boy! Horsy ride! Daddy, can I ride on your … Read more
Emergency Repair Kit
Peter was helping Jeniffer, the blonde, clean out the trunk of her car. Inside, he noticed a bag labeled “Emergency Repair Kit”. Looking at it a little closer, he noticed a stick of dynamite inside. Thinking that was a bit strange, he asked Jeniffer what it was for. She said, “It’s part of my emergency … Read more
Kid Named Bubba
One weekend, the husband is in the bathroom shaving when the kid he hired to mow his lawn, a local kid named Bubba, comes in to pee. The husband slyly looks over and is shocked at how immensely endowed Bubba is. He can’t help himself, and asks Bubba what his secret is. “Well, “says Bubba, … Read more
God Doesn’t Exist
One day the kids in Ms. Evans’ science class disagreed with her. Ms. Evans was talking about evolution. Ms. Evans was an atheist so she didn’t believe in God. Then Johnny raised his hand and said, “But I thought God created mankind?” Ms. Evans then replied, “Well can you see God?” “No. “ “Hear God?” … Read more
Baby Swallowed
Willy: “Mom, are our neighbors very poor people? Mother: “I don’t think so, Willy. Why do you ask?” Willy: “Because they made such a fuss when their baby swallowed a coin. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Golden Coach
The tax advisor had just read the story of Cinderella to his five-year-old daughter for the first time. The little girl was fascinated by the story, especially the part where the pumpkin turns into a golden coach. Suddenly she piped up, “Daddy, when the pumpkin turned into a golden coach, would that be classed as … Read more
Policeman Knocks
Little Johnny brings a can to the policeman and asks:”Can you please open the can?” Policeman knocks at it:”Please open the door, police…” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Large Supermarket
The man approached the very beautiful woman in the large supermarket and asked, “You know, I’ve lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?” “Why?” “Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman my wife appears out of nowhere. “ This joke is included in … Read more
Policeman Thank Goodness
A policeman on a motorcycle pulls over a car. ‘What’s up?’ says the driver. ‘Your wife fell out the passenger door three miles back,’ says the policeman. ‘Thank goodness for that,’ says the driver. ‘I thought I’d gone deaf.’ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.