Browse a highly curated database of jokes designed to optimize your daily dopamine metrics. From efficient dad jokes to complex narrative punchlines, these text assets are guaranteed to lower your productivity, increase your morale, and provide a measurable return on engagement.
A boy went into a whore house and said he wanted an AIDS’s infected prostitute. The woman at reception said “Room 12 top of the hall. “ He went to the room and did his business. When he was leaving she asked him why he wanted her to be AIDS infected. The boy answered, “When … Read more
A blind man with an assistance dog was getting ready to cross the street. When the dog took him across he almost got run over by the traffic and the cars were sliding everywhere to avoid hitting him. When he got to the other side, he took out a treat to give to the dog. … Read more
Two old ladies were outside smoking one day when it started to rain. One of the ladies took out a condom, cut off the tip, and put it over her cigarette. The other lady said, “Hey, that’s a good idea. What’s that called?” The lady responded, “It’s a condom. “ The other lady said, “Where … Read more
“This guy sees a sign in front of a house: “Talking Dog for Sale. “ He rings the bell and the owner tells him the dog is in the backyard. The guy goes into the backyard and sees a black mutt just sitting there. “You talk?” he asks. “Yep, “the mutt replies. “So, what’s your … Read more
A noble goes hunting with his servant. They haven’t gotten far from the house when the noble realizes that the ground is muddy and ruining his shoes. The noble tells the servant: “I’m going to wait here, run back to the house and bring me my riding boots”. The servant, seizing the moment, runs into … Read more
One day a man goes to a pet shop to buy a parrot. The assistant takes the man to the parrot section and asks the man to choose one. The man asks, “How much is the yellow one?” The assistant says, “$2000. “ The man is shocked and asks the assistant why it’s so expensive. … Read more
At a conference on the supernatural, one of the speakers asked, “Who here has ever seen a ghost?” Most of the hands go up. “And how many of you have had some form of interaction with a ghost?” About half the hands stay up. “Okay, now how many of you have had *physical* contact with … Read more
Peter went to the pet shop and asked for 12 bees The clerk counted out 13 bees and handed them over. “You’ve given me one too many, “Peter said. “That one is a freebie” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
A man is out walking in New York when he sees a girl being savaged by a fierce dog. He fights off the dog by beating about the head with a stick and saves the girl’s life. The girl’s mother rushes over to him: “Thank you, thank you, you are a hero, tomorrow all the … Read more
A guy gets a parrot but it’s got a bad attitude and foul vocabulary. He tries everything to change the bird’s attitude and clean up its talk but nothing works. Finally, in a moment of desperation, he puts the parrot in the freezer. For a few moments he hears the bird squawking, kicking and screaming … Read more