Browse a highly curated database of jokes designed to optimize your daily dopamine metrics. From efficient dad jokes to complex narrative punchlines, these text assets are guaranteed to lower your productivity, increase your morale, and provide a measurable return on engagement.
“How come you’re late?” asked the bartender, as the blonde waitress walked into the bar. “It was awful, “she explained. “I was walking down Elm street and there was a terrible accident. A man was thrown from his car and he was lying in the middle of the street. His leg was broken, his skull … Read more
Kerry the tomcat was scampering all over the neighborhood – down alleys, up fire escapes, into cellars. A disturbed neighbor knocked on the owner’s door and said, “Your cat is rushing about like mad. ““I know, “the man conceded. “Kerry’s just been neutered, and he’s running around canceling engagements. “ This joke is included in … Read more
A man walks into his local butcher’s shop and complains about the leg of lamb that he had previously bought. “When I cooked it the joint had shrunk so much it went from 12 inches long to only 4-inches. “ The butcher said to the man “That’s funny, my wife knitted me a sweater and … Read more
A sign on the wall for the economic use of the company’s copy machine, “Copy & Print in Black & White only, please!” Someone crossed off the word “Black” later on. This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Store owner: “Thank you for your patronage. I wish I had twenty customers like you. “ Customer: “Gosh, it’s nice to hear that, but I’m kind of surprised. You know that I argue every bill and always pay late. “ Store owner: “I’d still like twenty customers like you. The problem is, I have two … Read more
The interviewer examined the job application then turned to the prospective employee. “I see you have put ‘ASAP’ down for the date you are available to start, meaning as soon as possible, of course. However, I see you’ve put ‘AMAP’ down for the required salary. I don’t believe I’ve ever seen that before, what does … Read more
Bob had this problem of getting up late in the morning and was always late for work. After a few weeks of this, his boss was mad and threatened to fire him if he didn’t do something about it. So Bob went to his doctor, who gave him a pill and told him to take … Read more
Some race horses stay in a stable. One of them starts to boast about his track record. “In the last 16 races, I’ve won 8 of them!” Another horse breaks in, “Well in the last 27 races, I’ve won 20! !” “Oh that’s good, but in the last 36 races, I’ve won 29!” says another, … Read more
Michelle recently got a catalog from a company she wasn’t familiar with. Not wanting to be cheated she sent them a letter saying, “With all the fraud and misrepresentation I don’t know who to trust. Send me the merchandise and if it’s any good I’ll send you a check. “ A week later Michelle got … Read more
One morning a local highway department crew reaches their job site and realizes they have forgotten all their shovels. The crew’s foreman calls the office and tells his supervisor the situation. The supervisor says, “Don’t worry, we’ll send some shovels… just lean on each other until they arrive. “ This joke is included in the … Read more