Browse a highly curated database of jokes designed to optimize your daily dopamine metrics. From efficient dad jokes to complex narrative punchlines, these text assets are guaranteed to lower your productivity, increase your morale, and provide a measurable return on engagement.
Dan staggers into the shower. He notices that his d**k is bright orange. He feels normal, but he’s concerned and goes to the doctor. After a thorough examination, the doctor says, “You seem to be fine and all of the tests are normal. Did you do anything out of the ordinary over the weekend?” Dan … Read more
Sophie and Shirley, two elderly widows in a Florida adult community, are curious about the latest arrival in their building — a quiet, nice looking gentleman who keeps to himself. Shirley says, “Sophie, you know I’m shy. Why don’t you go over to him at the pool and find out a little about him. He … Read more
A wealthy lawyer was riding in his limousine when he saw two men along the roadside eating grass. Disturbed, he ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate. He asked one man, “Why are you eating grass?” “We don’t have any money for food, “the poor man replied. “We have to eat … Read more
A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette all enter the International Breast Stroke Swim across the English Channel. After about 8 hours, the brunette makes it across, followed shortly by the redhead. No sign of the blonde. After 12 hours they decide they’d better go look for her when she pretty much washes up on … Read more
Husband admiring his body in the mirror says to wife “Look at that, 14 stones of pure dynamite !” Wife replies “yeah, shame about the 2 inch fuse… “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
A doctor was vacationing at the seashore with his family. Suddenly, he spotted a fin sticking up in the water and fainted. “Darling, it was just a shark, “assured his wife when he came to. “You’ve got to stop imagining that there are lawyers everywhere. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of … Read more
A little old lady sits at the luncheonette counter and orders a hamburger. The huge guy behind the counter bellows, “One burger!” Whereupon the chef grabs a huge hunk of chopped meat, stuffs it in his bare armpit, pumps his arm a few times to squeeze it flat, and then tosses it on the grill. … Read more
A blonde goes to an international message center to call her mother. When the man tells her it will be $200, she exclaims, “I don’t have that kind of money, but I’ll do anything to get a message to my mother. “ He tells the blonde to follow him and takes her into a back … Read more
An armless man walked into a bar which was empty except for the bartender. He ordered a drink and when he was served, asked the bartender if he would get the money from his wallet in his pocket, since he has no arms. The bartender obliged him. He then asked if the bartender would tip … Read more
A man pulls up to the curb and asks the policeman, “Can I park here?” “No, “says the cop. “What about all these other cars?” “They didn’t ask!” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.