Browse a highly curated database of jokes designed to optimize your daily dopamine metrics. From efficient dad jokes to complex narrative punchlines, these text assets are guaranteed to lower your productivity, increase your morale, and provide a measurable return on engagement.
Jim was having a shit in the train toilet today, when some bloke knocked on the door. He said, “Can I see your ticket please?” “Not right now” Jim shouted, “I’m having a shit!” He said, “I don’t believe you, can you pass it under the door?” “No problem, “Jim said, sliding it under. “The … Read more
Sarah was reading a newspaper while her husband was engrossed in a magazine. Suddenly, she burst out laughing. “Listen to this, “she said. “There’s a classified ad here where a guy is offering to swap his wife for a season ticket to the stadium. “ “Hmmm, “her husband said, not looking up from his magazine. … Read more
A drunk gets up from the bar and heads for the bathroom. A few minutes later, a loud, blood curdling scream is heard. A few minutes after that, another loud scream reverberates through the bar. The bartender goes to investigate why the drunk is screaming. “What’s all the screaming in there?” he yells. “You’re scaring … Read more
A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing “Love” stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them. His curiosity getting the better of him, he goes … Read more
“I’m sorry for throwing red wine over all your dresses in the wardrobe last night, “Mike told his girlfriend. “I’ve spent all day getting the stains out just to show how much you mean to me. “ “Oh, that’s really nice, “she said. “What did you use to remove the stains?” “Scissors, “Mike replied. This … Read more
A boy asked his bitcoin-investing dad for 1 bitcoin for his birthday. Dad: What? $15,554??? $14,354 is a lot of money! What do you need $16,782 for anyway? This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
The car sped off the highway, went through the guardrail, rolled down a cliff, bounced off a tree and finally shuddered to a stop. A passing motorist, who had witnessed the entire accident, helped the miraculously unharmed driver out of the wreck. “Good lord, mister, “he gasped, “Are you drunk?” “Of course, “said the man, … Read more
An elderly woman decided to have her portrait painted. She told the artist, “Paint me with diamond earrings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets, a ruby broach, and a gold Rolex. “ “But you are not wearing any of those things, “replied the artist. “I know, “she said. “It’s in case I die before my husband. … Read more
Two strangers meet on a golf course and decide to play together. One man says, “I’m a salesman. What about you?” “I’m a hit man for the mob, “replies the second man. He pulls out a high powered rifle loaded with scopes and sights. He then asks the man where he lives. Nervously, the first … Read more
On the first day of the deer hunting season, a hunter fell out of a deer stand and broke both his legs. “Why couldn’t this happen on my last day of hunting?!” the hunter cried to the doctor. “It did, “the doctor replied. This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can … Read more