A nun gets on a bus that’s empty except for the driver. She says “I’m going to die soon but I want to have sex before I die. Problem is I must remain a virgin so it has to be in the ass. I can’t commit adultery, so the man must be single. Can you … Read more
A hippie gets onto a bus and sits next to a nun in the front seat. The hippie looks over and asks the nun if she would have sex with him. The nun, surprised by the question, politely declines and gets off at the next stop. When the bus starts again, the bus driver says … Read more
A guy goes into confession and says to the priest, “Father, I’m 80 years old, widower, with 11 grandchildren. Last night I met two beautiful flight attendants. They took me home and I made love to both of them. Twice. “ The priest says, “Well, my son, when was the last time you were in … Read more
The parish priest needs his house painted so he offers the job to one of his altar boys. The first day the kid paints the entire inside of the house, he’s sweating like hell but eventually gets it finished. The priest commends him on the work and with a flourish hands him a £5. 00 … Read more
One fine day in Ireland, a guy is out golfing and gets up to the 16th hole. He tees up and cranks one. Unfortunately, it goes into the woods on the side of the fairway. He goes looking for his ball and comes across this little guy with this huge knot on his head, and … Read more
Two nuns are walking back to the convent at night when two men push them into a dark alley and start having sex with them. One nun says “God, forgive them for they know not what they are doing!” The second nun says “Speak for yours! Mine is a Master!” This joke is included in … Read more
In a terrible car accident, 3 nuns die at the same time. They all appear in front of the gates of Heaven to meet Saint Peter. When they arrive, Peter informs them that those who lived a life of the cloth must answer some basic questions about theology before they are permitted to enter Heaven. … Read more
A bus full of nuns crashes and unfortunately they all die at the gates of heaven they meet St Peter. He asks the first nun: “Have you ever had any contact with a penis?” The nun replies: “I poked one once. “ St Peter says: “Wash your finger in this holy water and enter heaven. … Read more
A man gets shipwrecked on a small island. After a few days wandering, he comes across a tribe of natives who have just lost their chieftain. The tribe’s high priest tells the man that as he is the first outsider they have seen in twenty years, he must take three tests. If he passes all … Read more
Five year old Little Johnny was lost, so he went up to a policeman and said, “I’ve lost my dad!” The policeman said, “What’s he like?” Little Johnny replied, “Beer and women!” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.