Eighty Thousand Dollars

Fresh out of business school, the young man answered a want ad for an accountant. Now he was being interviewed by a very nervous man who ran a small business that he had started himself. “I need someone with an accounting degree, “the man said. “But mainly, I’m looking for someone to do my worrying … Read more

Klopman Diamond

A businessman boarded a plane to find, sitting next to him, an elegant woman wearing the largest, most stunning diamond ring he had ever seen. He asked her about it. “This is the Klopman diamond, “she said. “It is beautiful, but there is a terrible curse that goes with it. “ “What’s the curse?” the … Read more

Heaven I’ve Met

An American was despairingly lost in the Highlands and wandered about for nearly a week. Finally, on the seventh day he met a kilted inhabitant. “Thank heaven I’ve met someone, “he cried. “I’ve been lost for the last week. “ “Is there a reward out for you?” asked the Scotsman. “No, “said the American. “Then … Read more

Fast I’ll Throw

Freddie wanted to have sex with a girl in his office. But she belonged to someone else… One day, Freddie got so frustrated that he went up to her and said, “I’ll give you a $100 if you let me have sex with you. “ But the girl said, “NO. “ Freddie said, “I’ll be … Read more

Single Malt Scotch

A man walks into a bar, and tells the bartender to pour him a 12 year old single malt scotch “before the trouble starts. “ The bartender pours his drink and quietly moves away. After finishing his drink, the man calls the bartender back and tells him “pour me a 15 year old scotch before … Read more

Special Buy

Sign outside local pub: “Special! Buy One beer at twice the price and Get a Second beer for Free!” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.

France They’ve

A Frenchman walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bird is wearing a baseball cap. The bartender says, “Hey, that’s neat. Where did you get that?” The parrot says, “France – they’ve got millions of them there. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order … Read more

Harry Tom

Tom, Frank, and Harry are fishing in a boat. Frank stands up to get a beer, loses his balance, falls in the lake, and disappears. After a few minutes, and no sign of Frank, Tom tells Harry he better go in after him. Harry drags him into the boat and notices he’s not breathing. “Better … Read more

Chat Between Mice

A chat between mice in the Lab. First mouse: “I finally got that scientist trained. “ Second mouse: “How so?” First mouse: “Every time I go through the maze and ring the bell, he gives me something to eat. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from … Read more

Cab Driver Begins

A man is in Vegas where he lost all of his money so he can’t pay for a cab to return to the airport. He sees a cab and begs the driver to give him a free ride to the airport but the cab driver declines. The next year the man returns to Vegas and … Read more