Humor , distilled.
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Latest Jokes
Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh
Magical Words
April 5, 2026
Wife: “Darling, it was such a hard day. Would you tell me the three magical words that always make me so happy?” Husband: “You are right. “ Wife: “Very funny, no, the other ones. “ Husband: “I was wrong. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from
Dry Cleaner
April 5, 2026
A girl walks into a dry cleaner. She drops off her dress and turns to leave. The woman behind the counter says, “Come again!”. She says, “No it was toothpaste this time. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Friend Surrounded
April 5, 2026
Two friends die and one goes to Heaven while the other goes to Hell. The one that goes to Heaven begs the angel to let him visit his friend in Hell, and the angel agrees. He gets to Hell and sees his friend surrounded by beautiful women and alcohol everywhere. He says to his friend,
Marry Susie
April 5, 2026
Making conversation with the boy the pediatrician asked the six-year-old patient, “Johnny, if you found a couple of dollars and had to spend them, what would you buy?” “A box of Tampax, “he replied without hesitation. “Tampax?” said the doctor. “What would you do with that?” “Well, “said Johnny, “I do not know exactly, but
Corner Traffic Light
April 5, 2026
Two Martians landed on a corner traffic light. “I saw her first, “one said. “So what?” the other Martian replied. “I’m the one she winked at. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Somewhat Taken Aback
April 5, 2026
Little Johnny was celebrating his birthday soon. His father asked him what he would like for his birthday. Without hesitation Johnny said, “A spider. “ His father was somewhat incredulous, so he asked him again. “I really want a spider, “responded Johnny. Well, his father went to the pet store and asked the salesperson, “Do
Treding Jokes
The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.
Giorgio Rushes
April 5, 2026
Giorgo and his beautiful girl-friend Isabella rush in to see the vicar: “We want to get married. Here are all our papers, and these two people are our witnesses. Can you do a quick service?” The vicar is amused. He marries the two young people, pockets his fee and asks: “Isn’t there a proverb, something
Bites Yes
April 5, 2026
“Don’t be afraid of the dog, “said the lady to Little Johnny, who was delivering her groceries. “You know the old proverb, ‘A barking dog never bites?’“ “Yes, “replied Little Johnny. “You know the proverb. I know the proverb. But does your dog know the proverb?” This joke is included in the Black Book of
Trained Parrot
April 5, 2026
There was a little old lady who was nearly blind. She had three sons and they wanted to prove which one was the best son to her. So the first son bought her a 15-room mansion thinking this would surely be the best any of them could offer her. The second son bought her a