Humor , distilled.
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Latest Jokes
Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh
Can’t Count
April 5, 2026
Margaret was cheating on her husband with another man when they heard a noise on the stairs. “Oh, my God, your husband is home! What am I going to do?” “Just stay in bed with me. He’s probably so drunk, he’s not going to notice you. “ Sure enough, Margaret’s husband crawled into bed, but
Wife’s Habit
April 5, 2026
A man is telling his pal, “I can’t break my wife’s habit of staying up until 5 in the morning. “ “What is she doing?”, the pal asks. “Waiting for me to get home. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Bitter Quarrel
April 5, 2026
Husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary! The husband yells, “When you die, I’m getting you a headstone that reads: “Here Lies My Wife – Cold As Ever” “Yeah?” she replies. “When you die, I’m getting you a headstone that reads: “Here Lies My Husband – Stiff
Football Team
April 5, 2026
A Catholic, a Baptist and a Mormon are bragging about the size of their families. “I have four boys and my wife is expecting another, “says the Catholic. “One more son, and I’ll have a basketball team, “ “That’s nothing, “says the Baptist. “I have 10 boys now, and my wife is pregnant with another
Disability Pension
April 5, 2026
Levy went to Medical Insurance to apply for his pension. The woman behind the bench asked for his driving license to verify his age, but he had left his wallet home. He said to her that he had to go home and return later. The woman said: “Unbuckle your shirt. “ And so he did,
She’s Pregnant
April 5, 2026
Wife: “Every sunday you go fishing, right?” Husband: “Yeah… Why?” Wife: “Today the fish came here and told she’s pregnant. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Treding Jokes
The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.
Giorgio Rushes
April 5, 2026
Giorgo and his beautiful girl-friend Isabella rush in to see the vicar: “We want to get married. Here are all our papers, and these two people are our witnesses. Can you do a quick service?” The vicar is amused. He marries the two young people, pockets his fee and asks: “Isn’t there a proverb, something
Bites Yes
April 5, 2026
“Don’t be afraid of the dog, “said the lady to Little Johnny, who was delivering her groceries. “You know the old proverb, ‘A barking dog never bites?’“ “Yes, “replied Little Johnny. “You know the proverb. I know the proverb. But does your dog know the proverb?” This joke is included in the Black Book of
Trained Parrot
April 5, 2026
There was a little old lady who was nearly blind. She had three sons and they wanted to prove which one was the best son to her. So the first son bought her a 15-room mansion thinking this would surely be the best any of them could offer her. The second son bought her a