Humor , distilled.
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Latest Jokes
Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh
Parrot Piped
April 5, 2026
A parrot was in a cage in a pet shop with a string attached to each leg. A man walked in looking to buy a pet, so the shopkeeper came over and started to try and sell him a dog when the man noticed the parrot. He asked what the strings were for and the
Utter Disbelief
April 5, 2026
Paddy and his two friends are talking at a bar. His first friend says: “I think my wife is having an affair with the electrician. The other day I came home and found wire cutters under our bed and they weren’t mine. “ His second friend says: “I think my wife is having an affair
Cat Scan
April 5, 2026
A woman took her dog to the vet. She said, “I think my dog is dead”. The doctor laid the dog on the table and reached down and took a cat out of a box. The cat walked all over the dog and the dog didn’t move. “Yes, your dog is dead, “says the doctor.
Last Names
April 5, 2026
A black woman was filling out forms at the welfare office. Under “Number of children, “she wrote “10, “and where it said “List names of children, “she wrote “Leroy. “ When she handed in the form, the woman behind the desk pointed out: “Now here, where it says “List names of children, “you’re supposed to
Vanilla Ice Cream
April 5, 2026
A Penguin is driving down the street when suddenly his car breaks down in the hot desert. He calls a towing service and takes it to the nearest shop in some small town he’s never been in. Mechanic tells him it’s going to be awhile. The penguin says, “No problem. I’ll just go across the
Gorilla Picked
April 5, 2026
While standing in front of the gorilla’s cage, a gust of wind swept some dust into his eye. As he rubbed his eyelid, the gorilla went crazy, bent open the bars, and beat the guy senseless. When the guy came to his senses, he reported the incident to the zookeeper. Nodding, the zookeeper explained that
Treding Jokes
The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.
Giorgio Rushes
April 5, 2026
Giorgo and his beautiful girl-friend Isabella rush in to see the vicar: “We want to get married. Here are all our papers, and these two people are our witnesses. Can you do a quick service?” The vicar is amused. He marries the two young people, pockets his fee and asks: “Isn’t there a proverb, something
Bites Yes
April 5, 2026
“Don’t be afraid of the dog, “said the lady to Little Johnny, who was delivering her groceries. “You know the old proverb, ‘A barking dog never bites?’“ “Yes, “replied Little Johnny. “You know the proverb. I know the proverb. But does your dog know the proverb?” This joke is included in the Black Book of
Trained Parrot
April 5, 2026
There was a little old lady who was nearly blind. She had three sons and they wanted to prove which one was the best son to her. So the first son bought her a 15-room mansion thinking this would surely be the best any of them could offer her. The second son bought her a