Jokes Ltd A sweet grandmother telephoned St. George ‘s Hospital. She timidly asked, “Is it possible to speak to someone who can tell me how a patient is doing?” The operator said, “I’ll be glad to help, dear. What’s the name and room number of the patient?” The grandmother in her weak, tremulous voice said, “Telma Wilson, … Read more
Two police officers saw an old woman staggering out of a local bar, stopping her they can tell she has had far too much to drink and instead of taking her to jail they decide to just drive her home. They loaded her into the police cruiser and one of the officers got in the … Read more
A 96 year old man goes in the insurance and says to the insurer: “Hello my son. I want to have a life insurance policy. “ Perplexed by the old man, the insurer asks: “Sorry for the indiscretion, but why do you want to make life insurance?” “You know my son, I will travel with … Read more
Steward the biker comes to the hairdresser. The hairdresser stares at his greasy hair in disbelief for a while and then asks, “So, did you come to cut your hair or just for an oil change?” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Doctor says to his patient: “Your liver results are back. And frankly, they’re very surprising considering that I only allowed you one glass of wine per week. “ The patient shrugs: “Do you really think you are the only doctor I am going to?” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You … Read more
A lovey-dovey couple are sitting on a bench in the park and she says: “My ear hurts me…” He kisses it gently and asks, “Is it better now, my darling?” “It’s all gone, “giggles the girl, “but now I have a pain here, “and she points to her neck. The boy kisses it tenderly and … Read more
Two old people flirt at a seniors’ singles bar. After a few drinks, the old man asks the old woman, “If I took you out for a full night of winning, dining and dancing, what would you wear?” The old woman replies shyly, “Depends…“ “Depends on what?” he asks. “On my bottom – where else?!” … Read more
A Scottish man was at a baseball game. It was the first time he had ever seen the sport so he sat quietly. The first batter approached the plate, took a few swings and then hit a double. Everyone was on their feet screaming “Run, run!” This happened two more times, with a single and … Read more
Man visits India and meets an old man in the town square who is renowned for his elephantine memory. He asks the old man what he had for breakfast on the same day 15 years back. “Eggs, “replies the old man, the man scoffs at this saying everyone has eggs for breakfast and walks away. … Read more
A elderly lady, badly needing to use the restroom, walked into a local Hooters restaurant. The place was hopping with music and loud conversation and every once in a while the lights would turn off. Each time the lights would go out, the place would erupt into cheers. She walked up to the bartender, and … Read more