Jokes Ltd Stan is seconds away from receiving a vasectomy when his brother and sister-in-law barge in holding their newborn baby. “Stop! You can’t do this!” exclaims the brother. “And why not?” asks Stan. “Don’t you want to have a beautiful baby someday? Like my wife and I have here?” Stan says nothing. The brother grows impatient, … Read more
The barman says, “We don’t serve time travelers here. “ A time traveler walks into a bar. This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
A little boy returning home from his first day at school said to his mother, “Mom, what’s sex?” His mother, who believed in all the most modern educational theories, gave him a detailed explanation, covering all aspects of the tricky subject. When she had finished, the little lad produced an enrollment form which he had … Read more
Paddy and Murphy chatting about wanking. Murphy asks Paddy if he’s ever had a blow job off the vacuum. Paddy thinks for a second and replies, “No, never!” That night, Paddy’s got sex on the mind, looks over at the vacuum and recalls Murphy’s question and thinks…. fuck it! Why not? He plugs the vac … Read more
Grandpa and Little Johnny are sitting on a bench in the park. Johnny asked, “Grandpa, are you going to take that new Viagra?” Grandpa, caught off-guard, looks at him and says, “No Johnny, I will not. “ “But Grandpa, why not?” asks little Johnny. Grandpa replies, “Well Johnny, because there is no sense in putting … Read more
An elderly black man goes to see his doctor for help with his sexual performance issues. The doctor explains that the sex enhancing pills aren’t going to work this time. The man goes back to the doctor a month later for a follow-up. This time he is wearing a new tuxedo, shined shoes, and a … Read more
One day, Ahmed’s wife called him a pedophile. In response, Ahmed asked his wife, “So, how does a 9-year-old know such a big word like that?” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
A recent widow was crying to a grief counselor. “We were married twenty-five years before he died, “she said, dabbing away a tear. “Never had an argument in all those years. “ “Amazing, “said the counselor. “How did you do it?” “I outweighed him by forty pounds and he was a coward. “ This joke … Read more
Two new members of a hunting lodge get introduced to its oldest member. They ask him to tell his favorite hunting story, and he agrees. “Well, back in 1944 in Africa, “the old man starts, “we went big-game hunting. Didn’t have much luck at first, but on the third day I was resting by a … Read more
A lumberjack new to the job had trouble meeting his quota. He worked as hard as he could, but still he could only chop down two or three trees in a day. His supervisor noticed this, and asked what was wrong. Maybe his chainsaw was broken. The supervisor turned it on, but it was working … Read more