Jokes Ltd 
An airman in a bar leans over to the guy next to him and says, “Wanna hear a marine joke?” The guy next to him replies, “Well, before you tell that joke, you should know something. I’m 6′ tall, 200 lbs, and I’m a marine. The guy sitting next to me is 6’2” tall, weighs … Read more
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. “Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?” … Read more
This blonde cop stops a blonde driver and asks for identification. The blonde driver looks all around in her purse and can’t find her license. “I must have left it at home, officer. “ “Well, do you have any kind of identification on you?” asks the cop. The blonde takes out a pocket mirror and … Read more
A blonde rings up an airline. She asks, “How long are your flights from America to England?” The woman on the other end of the phone says, “Just a minute… “ The blonde says, “Thanks!” and hangs up the phone. This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from … Read more
A man was traveling north to Dallas. He needed to use the bathroom and so at a rest stop he goes into a stall. He sits down and was surprised to hear someone in the next stall say, “So how ya doing?” The man gulps and thinks about what he should say and then decides … Read more
A young man has spent five years traveling throughout the world making a documentary on native dances. He is nearing the end of his project and winds up in Australia in Alice Springs. He begins to talk to an Aborigine, who asks the researcher if he ever saw the “Butcher Dance. “ “Butcher Dance? What’s … Read more
A psychiatrist had no patients in his office and he was bored. Suddenly , the door opened slowly and a man crept into the room on four legs. His mouth was full with pieces of colored plastic. He was holding strange objects in his hands. He was dragging cables along behind himself. The doctor was … Read more
A guy walks into a bar with an alligator. It’s about 10 feet long. The bartender flips out and says, “Hey buddy, you gotta get that son of a bitch outta here. It’s going to bite one of my customers and I’m going to get sued. “ The guy says, “No no no, it’s a … Read more
A man sat at a local bar and said, “This is a special day, I’m celebrating. “ “What a coincidence, “said the woman next to him. “I’m celebrating, too, “she replied, clinking glasses with him. “What are you celebrating?” “I’m a chicken farmer, and for years all my hens were infertile, but today they’re finally … Read more
This guy from up north just up and one day moved down south to start a farm. He came across this man and asked him where he could get a good donkey to pull a cart and plow. The man said I’ve got just what you need. Only thing is down here we don’t call … Read more