Jokes Ltd 
A man walked into his backyard one morning and found there was a gorilla in a tree. He called a gorilla-removal service, and soon a serviceman arrived with a stick, a pitbull, a pair of handcuffs and a shotgun. “Now listen carefully, “he told the homeowner, “I’m going to climb the tree and poke the … Read more
Two hunters from Moscow charter a small plane to fly them to Siberia to go bear hunting. On landing, the pilot says, “Remember, this plane can only fly with two hunters, one pilot, and one bear. “ The hunters go out and return with two bears. So the pilot says, “I told you one bear!” … Read more
A snail and a slug got into a crash. When the police, ambulances and news reporters arrived, a reporter asked a tortoise what happened. He replied: “I don’t know, it all happened so fast!” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
An old man is afraid that his wife is losing her hearing. So, he walks up right to her ear and asks, “Can you hear me?” She didn’t answer. He walked up closer and asked again. But there was no answer. Finally he asked her one more time really loud and his wife said, “for … Read more
The economy is not going well and an unemployed engineer desperately needing work is nervous about an upcoming accountant job interview. The interview goes well, but as the engineer stands up to leave the manager says, “Oh just one more question. How much is four times eight?” Puzzled, the engineer responds that in all calculations, … Read more
An employee comes into her manager’s office to take a day off from work. The manager replies, “So you want a day off. Let’s take a look at what you are asking for. There are 365 days per year available for work. There are 52 weeks per year in which you already have 2 days … Read more
A passerby noticed a couple of city workers working along the city sidewalks. The man was quite impressed with their hard work, but he couldn’t understand what they were doing. Finally, he approached the workers and asked, “I appreciate how hard you’re both working, but what the heck are you doing? It seems that one … Read more
Smith goes to see his supervisor in the front office. “Boss, “he says, “we’re doing some heavy house-cleaning at home tomorrow, and my wife needs me to help with the attic and the garage, moving and hauling stuff. “ “We’re short-handed, Smith, “the boss replies. “I can’t give you the day off. “ “Thanks, boss, … Read more
After becoming a pair, what did one shoe say to the other shoe? “Will you be my solemate?” The other shoe replies, “No, you’re nothing but a heel!” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Caller: Is this Mr. or Mrs. Wall? A Man: I’m sorry there are no Walls here. Caller: Well, if there aren’t any walls there, how does the roof stay up? This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.