Jokes Ltd 
“Wait for me babe, I’m just finishing my make-up. “ “You don’t need make-up, Mary. “ “Oh, Jamie…. really? That is so sweet of you…” “You need plastic surgery. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Morty and Ian are out one afternoon on a lake when their boat starts sinking. Ian, a banker, says to Morty, “Listen, Morty, I should probably tell you, I don’t swim so well. “ Morty, who worked as a lifeguard when he was younger, begins tugging and pulling on Ian, helping him float towards shore. … Read more
Woman at a maternity hospital is in a lot of pain, moaning. The man strokes her back, “I’m so sorry sweetheart that you have to endure this… “ “Don’t worry Steve, it’s not your fault. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
A gentleman enters a restaurant and asks the waitress what was on special. She replied, “Today we have lobster tales for 1 dollar only. “ He said, “I’ll take a dozen!” She told him since it was a special he would have to pay in advance which he did. Then she said, “Are you ready … Read more
An Illinois man left the snow-filled streets of Chicago for a vacation in California. His wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him there the next day. When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick email. Unable to find the scrap of paper on which he … Read more
DEA officer stops at a ranch in Texas, and talks with an old rancher. . He tells the rancher, “I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs. “ The rancher says, “Okay , but do not go in that field over there, “as he points out the location. The DEA officer verbally explodes … Read more
A man was having premature ejaculation problems so he went to the doctor. The doctor said, “When you feel like you are getting ready to ejaculate, try startling yourself. “ That same day the man went to the store and bought himself a starter pistol and ran home to his wife. That night the two … Read more
A wealthy old lady decides to go on a photo safari in Africa, taking her poodle along for company. One day the poodle starts chasing butterflies and before long, discovers that he’s lost. Wandering about, he notices a hungry-looking leopard heading rapidly in his direction. The poodle thinks, “Oh, oh!” Noticing some bones on the … Read more
A lady goes to her parish priest one day and tells him, “Father, I have a problem. I have two female parrots but they only know how to say one thing. “ “What do they say?” the priest inquired. “They say, ‘Hi, we’re prostitutes. Do you want to have some fun?’“the woman said embarrassingly. “That’s … Read more
Little Johnny was sitting in class doing math problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question, “Johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun, how many would be left?” “None, “replied Johnny, “cause the rest would fly away. “ “Well, the answer is four, … Read more