Jokes Ltd After a lady’s car had leaked motor oil on her cement driveway, she bought a large bag of cat litter to soak it up. It worked so well, that she went back to the store to get another bag to finish the job. The clerk remembered her. Looking thoughtfully at her purchase, he said, “Lady, … Read more
One day, after a man had his annual physical, the doctor came out and said, “You had a great checkup. Is there anything that you’d like to talk about or ask me?” “Well, “he said, “I was thinking about getting a vasectomy. “ “That’s a pretty big decision. Have you talked it over with your … Read more
A rich 40 year-old American woman decided to get married, but she wanted her husband to be a virgin and to never have been with a woman all of his life. After some years of pointless searching, she didn’t find anyone with this description and was forced to give an ad to the paper. A … Read more
A farmer gets a phone call from his son. “I’ve run over a pig and it’s stuck under the tractor still alive. “ “Shoot it, “says the farmer, “and then bury it. “ About 30 mins later he gets another call… “ “Done. What should I do with his speed camera and motorbike?” This joke … Read more
A man walked into a record store and asked the assistant, “Have you got anything by The Doors?” “Yes, “she said, “a bucket and a fire extinguisher. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
“Doctor, Doctor, You’ve got to help me – I just can’t stop my hands shaking!” “Do you drink a lot?” “Not really – I usually spill most of it!” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
The guy sitting next to me on the train pulled out a photo of his wife and said, “She’s beautiful, isn’t she?” I said, “If you think she’s beautiful, you should see my girlfriend!” He said, “Why? Is she a stunner?” I said, “No, she’s an optician!” This joke is included in the Black Book … Read more
A surgeon was checking on a patient who had a hernia operation three days before. The doctor asked the man why he had not gotten out of bed. “I hurt, “the man said. “You don’t know how it feels. “ “I know exactly how it feels, “the doctor said. “I had the same procedure last … Read more
A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well. This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Patient: “I’m in a hospital! Why am I here?” Doctor: “You’ve had an accident involving a bus. “ Patient: “What happened?” Doctor: “Well, I’ve got some good news and some bad news. Which would you like to hear first?” Patient: “Give me the bad news first. “ Doctor: “Your legs were injured so badly that … Read more