Jokes Ltd A father was driving nails while constructing a play house for his children. The youngest boy asked if he could hammer a nail. The father granted his request and showed him how to do it. The boy did as his father had explained and lightly tapped to set the nail before hammering it in but … Read more
Grandma: “Oh, what nice new boots! Where did you get them?” Granddaughter: “At the store. “ Grandma: “Which one?” Granddaughter: “Both of them. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
A physicist, a mathematician and a computer scientist discuss what is better: a wife or a girlfriend. The physicist: “A girlfriend. You still have freedom to experiment. “ The mathematician: “A wife. You have security. “ The computer scientist: “Both. When I’m not with my wife, she thinks I’m with my girlfriend. With my girlfriend … Read more
Stanley was given the job of painting the white lines down the middle of a highway. On his first day he painted six miles; the next day three miles; the following day less than a mile. Then the foreman asked Stanley why he kept painting less each day? He replied, “I just can’t do any … Read more
A woman drove a minivan filled with a dozen screaming kids through the mall parking lot, looking for a space. Obviously frazzled, she coasted through a stop sign. “Hey, lady, have you forgotten how to stop?” yelled an irate man. She rolled down her window and yelled back, “What makes you think these are all … Read more
A young man asked an old rich man how he made his money. The old guy fingered his worsted wool vest and said, “Well, son, it was 1932. The depth of the Great Depression. I was down to my last nickel. “I invested that nickel in an apple. I spent the entire day polishing the … Read more
A lawyer was on his cell phone, calling a locksmith. “I locked my keys in my sports car!” said the nervous lawyer. “No problem, I should be there in about an hour, “replied the locksmith. “Do you think you can make it a little sooner?” pleaded the lawyer. “My top is down and it’s starting … Read more
A young woman brings her fiancé home to meet her parents. After dinner, her mother tells her father to find out about the young man, so the father invites the fiancé to his study for a chat. “So what are your plans?” the father asks the young man. “I am a Torah scholar, “he replies. … Read more
A property manager of a single-family residence was showing a unit to prospective tenants and asking the usual questions. “Professionally employed?” he asked. “We’re a military family, “the wife answered. “Children?” “Oh, yes, ages nine and twelve, “she answered proudly. “Animals?” “Oh, no, “she said earnestly. “They’re very well behaved. “ This joke is included … Read more
In a terrible accident at a railroad crossing, a train smashed into a car and pushed it nearly four hundred yards down the track. Though no one was killed, the driver took the train company to court. At the trial, the engineer insisted that he had given the driver ample warning by waving his lantern … Read more