Heating Up Dinner

A man comes home from a hard day of work only to find his wife laying infront of the fire place with her legs wide open. He asked, “Honey what are you doing?” She replied, “I’m heating up your dinner. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it … Read more

Officer Approaches

A police officer pulls over an elderly female for speeding while driving her husband to a doctor’s appointment. The officer approaches the vehicle and attempts to explain that he stopped her for speeding. She looks at her husband, who is sitting next to her and asks, “What did he say?” The husband replies, “He said … Read more

Write with Your Other Hand

A high school English teacher reminds her class of tomorrow’s final exam. “Now class, I won’t tolerate any excuses for you not being there tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or a death in your immediate family – but that’s it, no other excuses whatsoever!” A smart-ass … Read more

Press 9 for an Outside Line

A man checked into a hotel on a business trip and was a bit lonely. He thought, “I’ll call one of those girls you see advertised in phone booths when you’re calling for a cab. “ He popped into a phone booth near the hotel and found an ad for a girl calling herself Ergonique, … Read more

A Bus Stop Transformer

Kid to a pregnant girl at bus stop: “What are you expecting?” The girl says, “A bus. “ The kid turns to his friend and says: “Wow! I am 100% sure this chick got screwed by a Transformer!” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.

Wrong I’ve

A guy is walking along the beach, when he sees a woman with no arms and no legs lying on the sand, crying. He walks over to her and asks what’s wrong. “I’ve never been hugged before, “she says. Thinking this is a simple enough request, the man hugs her. She soon starts crying again. … Read more

Inches Less

A man says to his wife, ‘You know what, two inches more and I’d be king.’ She replies, ‘Two inches less and you’d be queen.’ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.

Ice Cream

A Husband comes home with a half gallon of Ice Cream. He asked his wife if she wanted some. “How hard is it?” she asked. “About as hard as my dick, “he replies. To which the woman replied, “OK, then pour me some!” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can … Read more

Three-Course Meal

A trucker who has been out on the road for two months stops at a brothel outside Atlanta. He walks straight up to the Madam, drops down $500 and says, “I want your ugliest woman and a grilled cheese sandwich!” The Madam is astonished. “But sir, for that kind of money you could have one … Read more

Exclaimed Major

A young , attractive woman thought she might have some fun with a stiff-looking military man at a cocktail party, so she walked over and asked him, “Major, when was the last time you had sex?” “1956, “was his reply. “No wonder you look so uptight!” she exclaimed. “Major, you need to get out more!” … Read more