Jokes Ltd

She’d Rather Remodel

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A man was in a terrible accident, and his ‘manhood’ was mangled and torn from his body. His doctor assured him that modern medicine could give him back his manhood, but that his insurance wouldn’t cover the surgery since it was considered cosmetic. The doctor said the cost would be $3,500 for ‘small,$6,500 for ‘medium, … Read more

John Shrugged

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John’s boss came to him, “Where the hell have you been? I’ve been trying to find you all morning!” John shrugged and said, “Good employees are hard to find!” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.

Law Firm

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A lawyer walks into a bar. He sees a beautiful, well-dressed woman sitting on a bar stool. He walks up to her and says, “Hi there, how’s it going tonight?” She turns to him, looks him straight in the eyes and says, “I’ll screw anybody at any time, anywhere – your place or my place, … Read more

Mailman Laughs

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One Monday morning a mailman is walking the neighborhood on his usual route. As he approaches one of the homes he noticed that both cars were in the driveway. His wonder was cut short by Bob, the homeowner, coming out with a load of empty beer and liquor bottles. “Wow Bob, looks like you guys … Read more

Pains Nausea Arthritis

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An elderly man went to the doctor for a visit. “Doc, “he says, “I am so stricken. I have chest pains, headaches, back pains, nausea, arthritis, constipation, stomach cramps, earaches, burning in the eyes, congested lungs… “ “Sir, “says the doctor, “you complain you have so many things. What don’t you have?” The man answers, … Read more

Intensive Care Unit

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A man was brought to a hospital with heavily fractured bones. The doctor in the intensive care unit asks him, “Are you married?” “No, I’ve been run over by a truck. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.

Problem They’ve

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After 20 years of marriage a husband and wife go to counseling. When asked what the problem is, the wife breaks into a passionate tirade of every problem they’ve ever had. Finally, after allowing this to go on for a sufficient length of time, the therapist gets up, walks over to the wife, makes her … Read more

Japanese Baby

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A blonde couple was delighted when finally their long wait to adopt a baby came to an end. The adoption center called and told them they had a wonderful Japanese baby boy, and the couple took him without hesitation. On the way home from the adoption center, they stopped by the local college so they … Read more

Idiot Redneck

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A redneck calls up the White House and tells the receptionist: “I’d like to become the next President of the United States. “ The receptionist: “What are you, an idiot?” Redneck: “Why is it required?” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.