Jokes Ltd An Englishman, an Irish man, and a Scottish man are in a desert, they got captured by the Germans. The Germans say, “We will give you one thing before you die. “ The Englishman says “water”, the Scotch man says “whiskey”, the Irish man says “a car door”. The Germans say, “Why do you want … Read more
A young man wants to be left something in his aunt’s will, so every day he goes round and takes her poodles for a walk. When she finally dies, she does indeed remember the kindness of her nephew – and leaves him the poodles. This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You … Read more
Uncle gives little Johnny a £5 note for his birthday. ‘Spend it carefully,’ says Uncle. “Remember – a fool and his money are soon parted.’ Little Johnny replies, ‘Well you certainly handed it over fast enough.’ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Two elderly gin-soaked colonels are sitting at the bar of their club. ‘Lend me a tenner for a month, old boy,’ says one. ‘What does a month-old boy want a tenner for?’ asks the other. This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
A couple of pigeons made a date to meet on the ledge on the tenth floor of a skyscraper. The female was there on time, but the male arrived an hour late. “Where were you? I was worried sick. “ “It was such a nice day, I decided to walk. “ This joke is included … Read more
A brain walks into a bar and says, “I’ll have a pint of beer please. “The barman looks at him and says “Sorry, I can’t serve you. “ “Why not?” askes the brain. “You’re already out of your head. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from … Read more
A police officer, though scheduled for all-night duty at the station, was relieved of duty early and arrived home four hours ahead of schedule, at 2 in the morning. Not wanting to wake his wife, he undressed in the dark, crept into the bedroom and started to climb into bed. Just then, his wife sleepily … Read more
Patrick left the pub after having too much to drink. He was taking the underground home. As he started to get on the escalator, he read the sign: ‘Dogs must be carried on the escalator.’ He shouted, ‘Now where am I going to find a dog after midnight?’ This joke is included in the Black … Read more
Lawyer: ‘Let me give you my honest opinion.’ Client: ‘No, no. I’m paying for professional advice.’ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
A couple went shopping when their car broke down in the parking lot. The man told his wife to carry on with the shopping while he fixed the car. The wife returned later to see a small group of people near the car. On closer inspection she saw a pair of male legs protruding from … Read more